Evangeline Keane

[Evangeline Keane]

Name: Evangeline Keane

Age: 20

Race: Human

Appearance:

Evangeline has a big, straight-toothed smile, with naturally sun-bleached golden blonde hair that falls to the middle of her back, and is usually worn loose. Her golden skin and overall appearance gives her a somewhat tomboyish, girl-next-door look. Her figure is neither short nor tall, and she is muscular and lean, with a tad of corn-fed stockiness about her.

Evangeline can usually be found wearing a variety of functional clothes, but prefers a comfortable-looking pair of breeches that are a deep, chocolatey brown. With this, a matching pair of knee-high boots, worn soft with much use, and are slightly faded, compared to the pants. Tucked into them is a thick, cream-colored cotton shirt with long, loose sleeves, and a notch taken out of the neck. It has a brocade forest green corset cinched over it, which she often keeps slips of paper and orders for her business tucked into the bosom, that stick out in a rather bizarre fashion.

Weaknesses:

Her biggest weakness is that sometimes she is prone to a temper, especially when something breaks or is destroyed or wasted. She hates wasting food, and will give a stern lecture to anyone she catches throwing out a perfectly good meal.

She can be somewhat vain, and can often be flattered into favors if complimented handsomely. She also has as much of a weakness for men as they do for her, and sometimes tends to get her heart broken through poor relational choices with the opposite sex.

She tends to react badly when someone tells her that she can't do something that she wants, or that she isn't good enough accomplish something. Sometimes she might become emotional and lash out, and suffer other negative changes in personality when people are critical of her hopes and dreams. She very much lives in the moment, which can sometimes be rough for the people around her who wish to plan ahead. For this reason she deeply fears marriage and other big commitments.

She loves sweets and is sometimes overly generous with them. She can't really understand why other people wouldn't like pies, cakes, candies, and sugary treats. It's surprising she isn't larger because of this, but she seems to expend a lot of energy to make up for it.

Though she can make friends very easily, she is sometimes just as prone to burn bridges nearly as fast, when her temper kicks in. She was sometimes considered different from the other ladies in town, as she isn't a fan of feminine frills or other girly "nonsense", as she called it. By the time she left her village, she wasn't very well liked by anyone there, and her father was considered an old fool for being so enamored with her.

Strengths:

She has a natural talent for baking, and a bit of experience in it as well. Her main expertise is in pies, however she also is skilled with various breads and even cakes.

Her tongue is twice as sweet as her baking. Her charisma with men and women alike is astounding, although she tends to have a bit more luck with the men. She is as generous with herself as she is with her baking, and often has people gathered around her like bees to honey.

She enjoys gardening and plant life as well, and has a natural green thumb. This hobby takes a back burner to her baking business, as this is what she knows best. Her preference is to keep one or two potted plants with her at all times, usually keeping herbs that would assist in the baking process.


Personality:

Overall, Evangeline is easy-going and full of smiles. She can sometimes be a bit sarcastic and teasing in her sense of humor, but typically means well. She is sometimes prone to playing pranks, and is a bit of a gossip. She loves to talk and is very skilled at multi-tasking so she can often be found doing a million things at once--kneading bread, discussing the latest town politics, eating lunch, and cleaning up a spill. Sometimes it might appear as though she has a million hands with the way she effortlessly accomplishes so much.

She is sensitive in her own way, but on the surface appears to be rather outspoken and matter-of-fact. Her natural reaction to most things is to laugh it off.

Even though Marn seems a bit large to her compared to her tiny small town, she doesn't seem to shy about trying to meet people or blending in. In fact, it seems like a relief to be able to meld into a crowd for once. However, there are days when she feels a bit overwhelmed, and has been known to lock herself away to be alone. These days are rare, however.

Possessions:

Evangeline usually carries handfuls of scrawled recipes and notes around with her, loose in her clothing and tucked into various parts of her clothes, like her boots and in her corset. Yet, she rarely carries a notebook.

She keeps a tiny dagger tucked into her left boot, although to be perfectly honest, the dagger is usually for stuff like chopping up dough, meat, or vegetables (sort of like a swiss army knife) as opposed to anything dangerous or malicious.

She usually has pocketfuls of ribbons to tie up and decorate her hair with, and can sometimes be wooed by a high quality ribbon. She hates purses and satchels and usually carries everything tucked into pockets, her corset, her boots, and even her hair. For this reason she can sometimes appear a bit disorganized, but usually knows where everything is…usually.

She has a small bakery in Marn that she just recently acquired in order to build a business there. It's cozy, with a little residence over the bakery that she stays in alone. The lower portion of the building is a very modest setup, with only what she needs for a one or two man operation.

History:

Evangeline's mother died in childbirth, and her father raised her from a baby. He never remarried, and spent much of his time doting on Evangeline.

She grew up in a small cottage which held a bakery on the first floor, and their home on the second. Her father taught her everything she knew about baking and pastries from the time she could walk. Rarely did she ever spend a time where she wasn't covered in bits of flour or dough, and wielding singed fingertips from trying to pull items out of the oven without her father's knowledge--she always wanted to taste before baking was finished.

His intention was to one day set up a business for her to pass on the family tradition, but unfortunately he became ill and died suddenly in the midst of establishing ownership of their bakery in her village. Feeling that there was nothing keeping her in the village except for him, she decided to take the money he had saved and go and establish a new bakery elsewhere, in a bigger and more exciting place.

Aside from that, she was looking for an excuse to leave. The village she grew up in seemed, frumpy, overly traditional, and extremely critical of her. As a no-nonsense tomboy type, she really couldn't be bothered with some of the expectations of people living there, like giving up the bakery to get married. Who needs that kind of pressure Not Evangeline!

Hoping to find a new life in Marn, she began her business, determined to make her name known as the best baker in town. She's excited to meet new friends and customers and create a life for herself, though she is nervous about being in a new place.

[Katona]

Hello and welcome to Thar!

I'd like to see is the very end of her history expanded on, where she decides to leave home. If she felt guilty, why did she decide to leave her siblings instead of remaining to care for them? How long has she been in Marn and how did she manage to get her current job?

A few other things: Where does she live and does she have any noteworthy possessions? How did she become an expert baker with only a few years of work, and if she is as good as you say, why couldn't she get a job in her hometown? Where is her hometown? Has she made many friends in Marn?

When you're done editing, let me know by replying to this thread. Feel free to pm me or any other mod if you ever have any questions!

[Evangeline Keane]

I've edited my character description. A few things:

The history was weak, so I changed it. Evangeline now has the history of living with her single father, who was a baker, which would explain her abilities more thoroughly.

I altered the bakery to include that maybe another person could eventually join as an assistant (a one or two man operation). Although I don't want the bakery to be large enough (yet) to accommodate many people, as I don't think she would have enough money for this.

She hasn't really made any friends yet, but she's hoping to. Basically I'm starting at her first day, brand new town and life and she just set up shop, maybe a grand opening or something. I'd like that to be an opportunity for her to meet other characters in town.

[Katona]

Sorry for the wait. Had meant to write this reply on Saturday but got busy.

Anyway, this is coming together much better now. The changes you've made are great. Just a few points to clarify and edit before you're done.

a matching pair of knee-high boots, worn soft with much use, and are slightly faded, compared to the pants. Tucked into them is a thick, cream-colored cotton shirt

This reads as if she tucks her shirt into her boots, so you'll want to reword it if that wasn't intended.


You say that she's prone to have a temper, and that she sometimes reacts emotionally and lashes out. You also say that she tends to laugh most things off as her natural response. I just want to make sure there's no conflict of personality here. Include something about her other moods in her Personality section as well, perhaps?


Can you give a bit more detail about her childhood as well? Maybe about schooling or friends or interests or the time she spent with her father? How her personality was changing as she grew up? A paragraph will do. Just something to show a little more about her experiences and memories.


Let me know when you need me to look over it again. Thanks for your patience.