(Hello I'm new to this type of RP so please PM me tips)
Sir Gavin The III
RACE: Elven
AGE: 28
SEX: Male
LOOKS:
Gavin is a majestic, dignified man. He is a tall, lean, medium muscles (stronger than the average person though not over powered) with medium-long straight blonde hair, in a way that suits him. Green eyes.
CHARACTERISTICS:
Gavin is an ex-warrior, highly skilled at his sword which he has on his left hip in its scabbard, his sword is a majestic piece with a straight hilt but decorated with old Elven markings. He wears basic green robes and clothes and sometimes A green suit of armour (plated) with no helmet. Is a VERY cheerful person.
STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:
He has GREAT athletic skills and is almost perfect with his sword, for the ladies, he is single.
He is partially blind in his left eye, he has a long scar on his left bicep.
Sorry if I missed out on any important info... I'm not good with character bio's.
Sir Gavin
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KreativeOne
- Outsider
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2013 8:53 am
- Name: Sir Gavin The III
- Race: Elven
Re: Sir Gavin
Hello and welcome to Thar.
I'm sorry if the PM I sent you wasn't very detailed, but I was in somewhat of a rush to get my son off to school.
Now as to the edits that I am looking for, I'd like you to expand on just about every section of your app. I would like to see more of a description of what your character looks like. Does he have any scars? Old injuries? Tattoos? Jewelry (either of value or simply sentimental)? What kind of skin tone does he have? Does he burn easily when out in the sun? Does he wear his hair up or down? Does he have any facial hair? Does he have freckles? Does he have a nice smile? Crooked teeth? Maybe his index finger on his left hand is longer than his middle finger, we want to know these things.
We want to know if he has any important possessions worth mentioning. You don't need to list the lint in his pocket but we want to know about his weapons, if he has access to a good deal of money, if he owns or rents a house or apartment, or if he has anything of a magical nature to it (though these items are illegal in Marn).
As far as strengths and weaknesses go, you really need to expand on these. We want to know what kind of skills he has. Don't just list combat related skills, tell us if he's a good dancer, if he can cook a mean pot roast or if he spends his free time whittling wooden figurines of woodland creatures. As for weaknesses, tell us about his fears, allergies, his shortcomings, maybe stuff he's tried but given up on.
Most importantly, we need to see some kind of history. We want to know where he was born, what his childhood was like, how over the years he slowly became the man he is today. Tell us where he got his sword, who taught him how to use it and what it is he does with it. We want to see some of his personality shine through so that we can get a better idea as to who this man is.
I'm sorry if the PM I sent you wasn't very detailed, but I was in somewhat of a rush to get my son off to school.
Now as to the edits that I am looking for, I'd like you to expand on just about every section of your app. I would like to see more of a description of what your character looks like. Does he have any scars? Old injuries? Tattoos? Jewelry (either of value or simply sentimental)? What kind of skin tone does he have? Does he burn easily when out in the sun? Does he wear his hair up or down? Does he have any facial hair? Does he have freckles? Does he have a nice smile? Crooked teeth? Maybe his index finger on his left hand is longer than his middle finger, we want to know these things.
We want to know if he has any important possessions worth mentioning. You don't need to list the lint in his pocket but we want to know about his weapons, if he has access to a good deal of money, if he owns or rents a house or apartment, or if he has anything of a magical nature to it (though these items are illegal in Marn).
As far as strengths and weaknesses go, you really need to expand on these. We want to know what kind of skills he has. Don't just list combat related skills, tell us if he's a good dancer, if he can cook a mean pot roast or if he spends his free time whittling wooden figurines of woodland creatures. As for weaknesses, tell us about his fears, allergies, his shortcomings, maybe stuff he's tried but given up on.
Most importantly, we need to see some kind of history. We want to know where he was born, what his childhood was like, how over the years he slowly became the man he is today. Tell us where he got his sword, who taught him how to use it and what it is he does with it. We want to see some of his personality shine through so that we can get a better idea as to who this man is.
Killer of Squirrels
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KreativeOne
- Outsider
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2013 8:53 am
- Name: Sir Gavin The III
- Race: Elven
Re: Sir Gavin
Ok thank you I shall begin to edit.
Re: Sir Gavin
As you edit, please make sure to read the setting and rules.
Also, you might want to consider Unicorn Visions as an RP home to get some practice in with your RP/creative writing skills.
Also, you might want to consider Unicorn Visions as an RP home to get some practice in with your RP/creative writing skills.
A story is like a tapestry; it is never finished until the final thread is sewn.
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