Talofen

[Talofen]

Name: Talofen Dervsk

Age: 29

Race: Human

Height: 5'8

Weight: 155 lb

Eye Color: Grey

Hair Color: Black

Skin color: A slight tan, though before his adventuring days it was rather pale.

Physical Description:

Possessing a thick frame and broad shoulders the man wears the body of a warrior, and beneath the thick layers of clothing covering his frame lie extensive tattooing and jagged scars. Across his chest several fine scars crisscross themselves across his slightly tanned form, leaving the skin around those marks pale and puckered. On his arms and legs, black tattoos cover the skin in elaborate patterns though seemingly harmless for those with not an eye for the unusual. Of facial hair, he usually tries to keep none, preferring to keep his hair trimmed short as well out of sheer habit.

Possessions:

Clothing: Dark green tunic, dark brown breeches, and a pair of leather boots.

A shortsword, its steel chipped in a few places along its blade stored in a dark leather sheath that is attached to a sword belt he wears always.

A worn iron buckler with several dents in it, worn over his back when he isn't planning on entering battle.

A red lace ribbion, found tied around his wrist.

A brown satchel that he carries in some meager food supplies, and his coin purse filled with what little wealth he has left which is to say 50 Bishani.

Strengths and Powers:

Shield and Sword: Knows how to handle one, and put it to good use after depending on his skill for so many years. He is well trained sell sword and his skill reflects such.

Brawling: Is fairly handy with his fists, countless bar brawls having hardened his knuckles with calluses.

Warriors' Intuition: Through countless battles and ambushes, he finds that he gets 'feelings' on occasion on whether going into a certain situation would be good or bad.

Defensive Magic: The tattoos on his arms and legs are not just for ornamentation but actually infused with protective magic meant to keep it's bearer alive in battle a bit longer. Tattoos are accessed when the wearer wills their effects into being. The downside is when they are used they disappear from existence, needing to be redrawn and effects reapplied if the bearer wants the protection again.

- Left arm tattoo: Sends a rush of vigor through the wearer, allowing him to recover completely from most magical weakness, most poisons, and stunning. Its is an instant effect unable to be used again after use as the tattoo fades away.

- Right arm tattoo: Heightens all of the wearers senses for a brief period of time. Its duration is half an hour.

- Left leg tattoo: Renders the wearer unable to be knocked down for a short span of time. Its duration is half an hour.

- Right leg tattoo: Allows the wearer to move quicker for a short span of time. Its duration is half and hour, and it effects both his arms and legs.

Incantations: As an apprentice of sorts, he was put to the test to learn something to better supplement his defensive protections in the field, and thus came about his learning of a couple spells to aid him in battle.

- Mend: Fixes small tears in fraying cloth, and cleans hands of dirt. Simply speaking the word 'Mend' in the strange tongue he was taut, is suitable for casting this spell.

- Lights: Creates several small orbs of harmless bright blue light that hurtle at whatever the caster targets. Takes 1 minute to cast, at which point the chanting reaches its end and the magical light bursts forth.

Soldier's Physique: Is stronger and more athletic than the average common laborer.

Optimistic: Even through bleak circumstances he always manages to find a smile or even a joke out of almost any situation.

Weaknesses:

Social Awkwardness: His years as a sellsword have left him barren of social graces, and he knows little to nothing of customs or manners.

Follower: He tends to follow whoever seems to have the ultimate authority at the moment for good or for ill.

Lack of arcane discipline: Magic like that stored in his tattoos and those few spells at his command he tends to use at the first chance he feels he needs it regardless of how small the problem may be. IE: Wakes up drowsy; uses tattoo to rouse himself awake.
Also For the moment he finds himself less than accurate with his incantations, often botching the cadence of them by rushing his words.

Brash: He tends to rush into things without properly thinking things through which tends to get him in more than a little trouble.

Women: He's never fought a woman and remains steadfast against it, preferring to take the hits rather than respond with a strike.

Focus: In battle he tends to focus solely on one person, and completely so, tending to ignore everything else making it very easy to sneak up on him or something else.

Weakness to Charm: Tends to be able to be charmed or seduced very easily as he tends to believe a person for their word regardless of how well he knows them.

History:

Born and raised in Keir, Talofen was taught by his father early on how to handle a blade and a shield, well enough early on to get work with a band of sell swords his father served with. He cared little for his mother growing up, and knew little of her as it was a rare occasion for him to see the woman for he traveled with his father. Even with the chance presented he chose to ride with his father rather than scape out and existence with his mother, not wanting to subsist on scraps of bread and manual labor around the house and instead choosing the exciting life his father's promised.

For years under the keen eyes of his father he rode with the band taking contract after contract, most being simple guard jobs but on occasion getting the chance to transport a message or two, and once even participating in a raid. It was in that raid the band lost half of their members, his father among the fallen, and him nearly so but the leader of the sell swords saved him that day and from then on he swore his allegiance to that man and only that man, forfeiting his pay as a way of thanking the man for his generosity in saving his life.

Jobs came slow for years afterwards, but the leader Farkous made sure he was well fed and taken care of and even allowed time to train the youth and cover him in protections that would make him all the more valuable later in the field. Fine with a blade he so became, and with his additional protections he found his bond to the man unbreakable, and at the leaders back he stood, ever vigilant and always obedient. Gradually as more men funneled into the ranks, they began to accept more an more jobs, the contracts increasingly dangerous but asides from a few scars received nothing he hadn't experienced before. Mostly they happened to be pest control jobs, hunting down beasts that had strayed to close to a noble's holdings or some small inlet population, and he found the work suited him well for he had not the taste for killing men. Durning that time the sellswords only mage also taut each of the men a pair of spells designed to be relatively easy to cast, and quiet helpful in battle, but though Talofen had a desire to learn more, the wizard refused to teach him anymore in the art claiming his simple soldier mind was to simple to comprehend such things. On one of their stops, they paid a brief visit to Marn and it was there he met a beautiful elven woman who captured his mind and heart so completely. He immediately fell in love with the woman, and by some luck found her feeling the same though it was not to last for within a ten-day his party left, though he took with them a lace ribbon and a promise from the woman that she would await his return and stay faithful to him while he was away.

For the next five years he traveled with the sell swords doing as he was told without question. It was a fun time of sorts for him though he sorely missed the elf, but among his brothers, and the kinship he felt sustained him nonetheless. In the lull between jobs, the sell swords found themselves encamped a ten-day's walk away from Marn, with Talofen looking forward to seeing his beloved after spending so many years apart from her. When he went to Farkous's tent to ask permission to travel ahead of the band he found the man murdered, and the wizard standing over the fresh corpse. In a blind rage he tried to kill the wizard, but was caught, and detained by his companions before he could strangle the aged man. The mage blamed him for Farkous's death, and had him put in chains and stowed away till he thought up a proper punishment for the 'traitor'. Talofen tried to plead his case to his once friends but they would not listen, could not believe the man they thought a traitor, and simply ignored him.

Driven to desperate measures, in the wee hours before dawn broke across the land, Talofen strangled one of the men arranged to sit outside of his tend, and killed the other in combat with his blade. Lady luck by happened to be with him that night for no one stirred at the noise, and the men hadn't had a chance to yell for help, and with possessions in hand he slipped off into the night, always looking over his shoulder as he traveled across the land towards Marn. Only upon reaching the city did he manage to feel a measure of relief, but he know he yet keeps a target on his back, and finds himself rushed for time. Now he finds himself trying to find the woman as quickly as possible before fleeing from the city, knowing the sell swords will arrive any day now.

[Saruna]

Hiho Talofen, and welcome to Thar!

Minor nitpick: the plural of bishan is bishani.

Thar is fantasy, and as such we labor under the illusion of language. English does not exist on Pal Tahrenor, due to the Changer's War mucking about with those cultures whose languages would have eventually developed into it. Greek culture and language eventually came to dominate over the majority, and so a weird bastard of the Latin/Greek languages came to be the most common. It doesn't really have a name, so I suppose you could just call it common, though I know that's rather ambiguous.

Under strengths and powers, you have much on tattoos, and some specifics. I would like to see more specifics. How long is a short/brief span of time? Are we talking an eyeblink or five minutes? Half an hour? Is he rid entirely of poisons, recover completely from being stunned? Does he become immune to any sort of magical weakness?

Out of curiosity, since you named his spells incantations is it just a spoken word to invoke them or does he need to do some chanting?

The defensive magic that is his tattoos is only temporary, but he is used to using it's magic at the first occasion the need arises no matter how small that the idea of it being a wasteful tendency has yet to occur to him or fully impact him of the weight the decision to be.

While I kinda get the gist of this, by the end of the sentence you'd completely lost me. Maybe splitting it into two sentences would make it less confusing to me.


I feel that his weaknesses as of now do not match up to his strengths. Let's see a weakness that would affect him or his defenses in battle.

Also, for the length of time he has been traveling with sell swords and using his weapons at hand, I would expect him to be more proficient with his blade. Unless he just sucks at fighting with a sword, this

to not be immediately cut down

makes it sound to me like he's still not proficient with swordplay.

It was a dark night that night

You've lost me a bit again. What night are we talking about here?

I've noticed a little bit in your application that you tend to hint at things rather than outright write about them. I do appreciate a good dose of subtlety, but sometimes subtlety just isn't enough for the job. As your audience I have no idea where you're coming from, and do require a little bit of setting up to make sure I'm on the same page as you are.

If you have any questions/comments/concerns please do not hesitate to reply to this thread or send myself or any of the staff a pm. If you make any changes to your app please leave a reply in this thread so I know to come looking.

[Talofen]

Ok I've edited it as you have requested. Hopefully this is suitable as I'm still getting a feel for the overall system and balances. Thank you for the suggestions.

[Saruna]

Please do change

A brown satchel that he carries in some meager food supplies, and his coin purse filled with what little wealth he has left which is to say 50 Bishan's.

the Bishan's to bishani.

For the tattoos, do all of them have only one use? Who puts the tattoos on him? Himself or someone else?

I like the revised history. I think you're doing just fine, no worries.

[Niabi]

I'm going to let Kat here handle the approval process with you as it looks like you're already working with her. I just wanted to say that I noticed that there was no mention of a skin color in your app. When looking at your avatar, I assume your character is white but we do have a number of characters from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds and I just thought it was something important that should be mentioned.

[Talofen]

Ok I changed the coin to plural, sorry I just realized I had forgotten that.

As for your question, all of them only have one use. The man who put them on them was the wizard who served with the sell swords, so after he uses them again they will be lost to him unless he some how figures out the art himself.

As for the other question, I only barely mentioned it with one word in the physical description, but have now revised to better display it for future readers of this particular character sheet. Hope its adequate. Thank you both for your suggestions and patience.

[Saruna]

Alrighty, as we lock character sheets after approval, please do send a pm to Niabi or myself when/if your character should use his tattoos so we can unlock it for you to change stuff around.

Approved.

We highly recommend new players to be proactive about getting into threads. Typically if you post a thread without talking to someone about joining it no one will join it. I guess the majority of us are rather shy here. Two ways to see what characters are available are through the characters available: http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1497 , and the ongoing plot threads: http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewforum.php?f=2 .

We are in the middle of a rather large winter influx, so it is also a good idea to hop into chat and see who is available. Good luck and have fun!

[Niabi]

This member has made very few posts and has not logged in in almost two months, I'm moving him to Inactive.