Bertram de Folia

[Bertram de Folia]

Player Name: R.T.

Name: Bertram de Folia

Age: 21

Race: Shifter

Height: 5'10”

Weight: 175 lbs.

Physical Description: Bertram is a lanky individual, not with bare bones but not with tough muscles either. His skin is a fair tan color from all of his years spent under the sun instead of his family's meager shanty shelter, His short, brown hair is so dark that one would swear it was black. He keeps his face clean-shaven which helps bring out his chestnut eyes immensely, but the rest of his body is covered in short hair that at a glace you wouldn't notice.. He is generally considered very handsome, but that's about the only thing he didn't gloat about.

Possessions: Bertram owns a simple dirk, his only method of defense. He learned it's use from a hunter descended from a Changer's War veteran. He can more than hold his own against a novice swordsman. Around his neck he wears a pendant necklace with a peculiar charm as the pendant. The charm is made of onyx of such a deep black color that it seems to draw you in when you stare at it. It holds a very faint magical signature, sealing his ability to shapeshift into his raven form and absorbing the weakest of any magic used against him such as that from a complete novice magician in training. For dress he owns a simple cloth tunic, paired with some brown leather breeches. He wears no shoes on his calloused feet.

Powers or Strengths: Having grown up poor in the ghetto, Bertram turned to pick-pocketing and general thievery to support himself and his small family. Over the years he has become quite agile and dextrous as he constantly does his best to avoid the law enforcing city guard. He is also a very logical and intelligent individual, a gift from the astral plane. Being a shifter, Bertram's specialty is being able to shapeshift into a crow, one of the most intelligent birds on Pal Tahrenor..

• Corkscrew – Dagger/future beak skill, thrusts the dagger/beak into/at the opponent and twists it violently.

• Switch – Dagger skill, can slice most soft targets.

• Featherlight – Innate trait, able to tread as lightly as a feather.

Weaknesses: Bertram is a braggart, extremely haughty, which makes him very gullible. He consistently falls prey to others cons. His Achilles Heel is magic that slows the target or time, negating his agility or when in his crow form, his ability to fly. Traps that restrain him in any way affect him in a similar manner. Fire magic does extra damage against him, and being a shifter he has an “allergy” to silver and must avoid skin contact.

History: Born in the year 143 Post War, Bertram was raised and continues to live in the ghetto of the Historical District of the city of Marn. As a child, he learned to rely on others to get by, building an extensive social network and excellent bartering skills. He respects his fellow outcasts immensely. He was raised by his parents, who he blamed for his outcast status and was extremely disrespectful of them. His independence streak was very apparent from a young age. Even though he detested them so, Bertram's parents loved him immensely, and in the interest of his safety in Marn gave him a special gift. They gave him an onyx charm to wear around his neck that, unbeknownst to him was actually a magic seal that would prevent him from shapeshifting into his crow form. As a result, even to this day, Bertram only knows himself to be a human.

As a teenager, Bertram finally picked up thievery as his hobby, believing he was genuinely taking from the more well off to help his poor comrades. So began his many conflicts with the law. At the age of 16 he had already spent 5 nights in the prison cells at the City Guard Headquarters. Fortunately for him the City Guard considered him only more of a nuisance rather than a hardcore criminal and often released him after just spending the night in jail. Having been such an excellent barterer and now (in his own mind) such an excellent and “untouchable” thief, Bertram became very haughty, and most would say selfish and conceited.

As a young adult, Bertram continues to hone his thieving skills, much to the chagrin of the City Guard. To them, he's been a nuisance for far too long. They no longer catch him as often, but he seems to strike all of the time now behind their backs. There is now a 150 Bishani bounty on Bertram's head. He lives alone now, his parents deceased 4 years ago as a result of something unknown. The loss hit him hard when he finally realized (not quite fully) just how much they loved him. He now believes that his thieving ways shamed him in his parents eyes and he regrets following such an unlawful path. Despite the fact that he is now stricken with depression, he continues his thievery not knowing what else to do. One day he would like to redeem himself for all of the wrongs he had comitted by giving up thievery for good and raising his own child the right way. He also holds a more lofty goal of bringing all of his comrades to stand above poverty.

[Niabi]

Hello R.T. and welcome to Thar. Thank you for submitting a character.

Now before I get to further reviewing your app, I am going to need to ask that you go back through it and add more to each section of it. We would like further information as to his physical description, details involving his strengths and weaknesses, and a more descriptive history that not only tells us where the character has been and what he's been doing for the last 21 years of his life, but if gives us a feel for what sort of personality he has and your writing ability.

If you would like to see an example of what we are looking for, I'd suggest you take a look at a couple
of our approved apps in the Active Character section. If you have any questions or need any help with your character you can send me a PM or catch me in chat, I'm in there almost every weekday.

[Bertram de Folia]

Thank you for getting back to me on that. I'll work on it again when I have time. Right now I have work in the morning so I need to get some sleep. I'll do my best to not dissappoint you again.

[Niabi]

When you do make edits to your app, please leave a reply here so that we know to read over it again.

[Bertram de Folia]

Yep, I know I'm done with my first (and hopefully last) edit by the way

[Niabi]

I have two questions,

1. You are exaggerating when you say

At the age of 16 he had already spent about a hundred occasions in the prison cells at the City Guard Headquarters

If he was that much of a trouble maker I'm doubting they keep releasing him or if they did, I bet they would kick him out of the city and tell him if he did come back that was going to be locked up for good (or disappear within Justice Hall).

2. What did he do to get a 1,000 bishani bounty place on him? I'm thinking it would have to be a pretty serious crime. You do realize that 3,000 bishani is the annual income of a working middle class person in Marn.

[Bertram de Folia]

You're absolutely right. Fixed.

[Saruna]

I haven't been on as much as I have in the past recently, so I have been unable to talk to Meesh about apps as I might usually. So, I am unsure if she has spent any time pming you about additional details in your app -- if this is the case I apologize in advance for walking over inspected ground.

That said, first I would like to go over his possessions.

A dirk is well and good, but I would like you to clarify

He is self-taught in it's use and can more than hold his own against a swordsman.

Let me point out a few things with this. By 'self-taught' I'm assuming he has not really trained with any fellows, or if he has then they are also self-taught. This means he has learned a form of fighting that has had no guidance from anyone with what might be considered skill. If you taught yourself to fight with your fists, without even reading books on the subject and not particularly training in any meaningful way with others, and came up against a martial artist who has trained with a teacher and likely with other fellows who have also trained with a teacher and has a longer reach than you do -- who do you think would win?

So, I can see him beating a poorly trained swordsman in face to face combat as a self-taught knife fighter, but a competant one I cannot unless he has spent a lot of time with other fighters who have some skill, and has watched many fights and is quite clever besides. Even then, for someone who is poor and likely underfed I can't really see him putting that much time and effort into it -- unless you can come up with a good reason for it.

Whatever you decide to do with that, please do expand upon his skill level in defeating swordsmen.

The charm. I am not sure if you mean that it absorbs any sort of magic whether or not it is weak, or if it just absorbs magic from him, or what exactly. Please detail this some.

Also: crow shifter. Awesome. I have been actually thinking about making one myself (though probably a npc since I have too many characters as is), so good choice in my overly presumptuous opinion. Great timing on making one. I felt rather pleased to see it. That saiiiid I noticed in your powers/strengths that you have one listed as a dagger/beak skill. Is this more of a future strength (for the beak, I mean), as it seems like he still does not know he is a crow shifter?

I might also suggest putting in a final line or two in his history to give any future rp companions an idea of things he might aspire to. Does he want to stop thieving even though he doesn't know what to do? Does he want to become respectable? Does he want to try even more daring tricks of thievery? Does he have any goals, or is he lost in a morass of depression at his situation?

[Bertram de Folia]

Fixed and clarified.

[Saruna]

Perhaps I am dense today, but I'm still unsure if you mean it only absorbs weak magic. No need to change what's written up there, just respond below.

[Bertram de Folia]

It only absorbs magic from a caster with weak skill. Which for all intensive purposes is nobody who roleplays on here unless they specifically say they're a total novice lol.

[Saruna]

There's a few characters with weak or negligible skill. . .we're definitely not a board full of the powerful.

Approved.

We encourage you to pm people and ask around for those who might be interested in starting a plot, or those whose plot you want to join. Too often new people hang out waiting for an opportunity to arise, and when it doesn't they just slowly stop coming. Many of the rpers here are a bit shy.

Here's a thread for characters looking for a plot: http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1497

Plot discussions: http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewforum.php?f=2

Good luck to you, and good rping!