Ok, but what's -inside- it?

[Frug]

Since the days of Anton Mesmer and his hubub about animal magnetism and curing people with wands and iron filings, there has always been an underground following of people who put their faith in cures of questionable merit (to put it lightly).

My mom has always tried all kinds of alternative and homeopathic remedies, ranging from sensible things like "eat your damn vegetables" to this idiotic accupreassure thing where some lady would put a jar of random herbs next to my head, hold her hand on my tummy, and magically "sense" my body's reaction to the herbs to decide if I should take them or not. Thankfully the sensible ones (eat your damn vegetables) seem to last a lot longer than the obviously fake ones (accupreassure lasted about a year. My mom isn't dumb, just a bit of a sucker sometimes).

So I'm reading somethingawful.com and they have a feature called "awful link of the day" which is sometimes just mean to people, and sometimes fuckin' hilarious. The kind of crap that they manage to find on the internet would surprise anyone. Today, it was a website selling these things:



The hell is that? That's a "remedy maker"

Yep. it makes remedies from the maaagical vibrations of your voice. You talk into it, and then it (i think) makes some kind of sound back that heals you. They sell a few contraptions actually, like this piece of junk

http://www.remedydevices.com/copier2.htm

It copies the maaagical energy of stuff you put in one side, and puts it into something else. So like, you put a healing flower of your choice (lets choose echinacea or chammomile) in one dish and some water in the other dish. Press the buttons, turn the knob thing and voila! The water has the maaagical healing energies of the flower.

AAAAARGH.

There's just one thing I want to know. What the hell is INSIDE THE BOX! I want to buy one and open it. Help me out here, buy me one and mail it to me, and I'll examine it because I MUST KNOW.

[Blood Ravenous]

Lol. It's filled with Jesus!

[Frug]

lol

[Dorcas Tansy]

I don't think these are so much the Christian-religious people . . . but I bet that if you looked inside the thing, anyway, it'd just be a couple of wires and shit, and they'd be like "Well the wires are configured such that . . . harmonic . . . frequencies . . ." Yeah. If these people are keen on Jesus, it's more in a "whack-job with a side of Jesus" kind of way. Like they're waaaay more into sending electric currents through things than saying things about Christ the Lord, but they might also give him a shout-out from time to time. That's the impression I get, at least.

[Frug]

I don't think it has anything to do with religion. They're just selling some really lame gimmick product. A christian wouldn't do that. Or shouldn't at least. And a fundamentalist christian would probably consider all the mumbo jumbo the work of the devil or something.

No, it's some jerk. I emailed him. Swore at him a lot, asked him what was inside the box. He emailed me back something more formal where he was like "it's expensive because i need expensive parts and plenty of people buy it, like this one doctor guy who bought like six. And other people say only good things about it."
So I wrote back and was more serious and swore a bit less, but was much more of an ass in that way that seems to come naturally to me. And he was like "i don't have time to argue with you, people like you never buy my shit." to which I had to say "yes because people like me aren't stupid, old, or desperately ill and looking to be taken advantage of."

I don't think he's going to write again.

[Blood Ravenous]

Lol Frug. He's probably the only one who knows what's inside so you botched that.