Aenalset Blank Victus

[Aenalset Victus]

See New character further down.

[Stella]

I realize this is in work in progress and you're not done, but I'd like to caution you that as a first character, Aenalset is already too powerful.

I would encourage you to create a werefox instead of a true kitsune as your first character. True kitsunes are overpowered and not suitable as first characters. We currently have two and they are both played by moderators.

Being able to "merge" or teleport to the astral plane is way too powerful.

While there is no age limit per say on how old your first character can be, 150 is quite old and you will need a very fleshed out history. Simply divying it up into two time periods, with one as a fox and the other as "well he was in the astral plane for 50 years" is not going to cut it.

The magic scar is not a bad weakness, but I would make it affect him even when he is idle. He is probably not going to be doing lots of "rigorous physical activity." His weaknesses should be a significant part of who he is. Maybe he needs to take drugs just to get rid of that chronic pain.

Not having the ability to transform into a certain form, and not having lots of magic abilities are not weaknesses. I can't turn into a rocketship either.

His ability to transform and any other kitsune abilities need to be listed under strengths.

Proof-read your history. There are a number of spelling errors and tense changes:

But after years of being hunted by the wolves he stumbles upon a fatally wounded woman who is the most beautiful thing he had ever seen at the time.

For good examples of first kitsune characters, see these:
http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2943
http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=2300
http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=1835

[Aenalset Victus]

oh it's only really rough draft presently. I'll probably go through several though.

[Aenalset Victus]

Character Name: Aenalset Blank Victus, Blank, The Reaper and The Seeker
Race: shifter (white fox)
Age: 15 years
Height:
- Human Form: 6"
Weight:
- Human Form: 135 lbs
- Fox Form: 35 lbs
Hair:
- Human Form: Long, white.
- Fox form: white fur almost razor sharp threads.

Physical Description:
Human: Blank is tall and has a girlish figure with white hair and unblemished light brown skin. His eyes are bright red with a scar across his back and farmers hands. People would describe his face as majestic and sensuous, and he inherited his girlish figure from his father and eyes from his mother.
Fox: 2.5 feet in width, white fur, red eyes and three thin tails.
Possessions:
The Reaper: Curved white silver bracelet that has Blank’s soul imprinted upon it by the will of Inari. People often see him standing alone ranting and having arguments with himself that no one can explain. He thinks he’s taking to Inari, even the Elders of his clan told him as much, but he still refuses to trust them on that subject.

The Seeker:Small black ruby that has the soul of his fox imprinted upon it. The Seeker rarely speaks unless it has something to say. The only people who can hear his fox speak other than Blank are other Kitsune or Shiters that it decides can help Blank. The Seeker can also speak with Blank's mouth.

Aenalset's Journal:

The Soul Catcher stabbed a book that contains the life history of Blank before he was sealed inside the Blade, but Blank still does not believe he has lived another. But when Blank feels unsure of himself he takes out his journal and gets inspiration from it.

To be continued.

The Soul Catcher:
A dagger with silver curved handle, hiltless and ivory blade that was forged through his clans magic that leaves a cursed scar on the body, if used the scar delivers constant unimaginable pain that often begins to define the user. The Elders theorize that the only people ever truly cursed by this blade are those that are cursed by Inari, and thus become immune to healing magic. Lastly, the Elders sealed Blank's original personality into this blade.

Dreams Cast by a Final Salute:

To be continued:

Personalities:

The Reaper:

The Reaper is vindictive in its need to teach Blank a lesson he forever remembers in his bones by beating it into him, and seizes the opportunity whenever it gets the chance. The scar is the first lesson it ever gave Blank to teach him how cruel the world can be. The Reaper is motivated purely by the will of Inari. Blank is completely and utterly ignorant of that fact.

The Seeker

The Seeker's consciousness came to the surface, when Blank faced extraordinary pain from the cursed scar he developed from trusting the Reaper. The Seeker can become vindictive in its need to protect Blank from further unnecessary harm, but will not interfere where the Reaper is concerned, as the Seeker believes the Reaper is a necessary evil so that Blank will someday remove this curse placed upon him by Inari. This ruby was manufactured by the gnomes to allow Blank to withstand the pain of his cursed scar.

Blank:

The tortures pain caused by the scar on his back and the fringe scientist attempting to discover a method to heal him gave him a machine like nature. He sees people only in three categories: Enemy, Victim or Innocent. If he designates you an enemy, he will put all of his effort into destroying you utterly. If he designates you a victim, he will put forth all his power into protecting you. Also, if he considers you an innocent, he will ignore you until you choose one of the other remaining categories. But the Reaper or the Seeker may disagree and speak on his behalf. Blank thinks the instances of his lost memories related the Reaper and the Seeker are blackouts. He is aware they exist, but not of their conversations with other people, as they take complete control of him in those instances. Further, Blank is not aware that, "Blank" is also a soul imprint. Lastly, he does not respond to the name Aenalset. If you were to invite him to any organization, he would instantly label you as a enemy. If you were to compliment him, he would label you as an enemy. If you were offer up information without him asking, he would label you as an enemy. But ignoring him is probably the best way to get his attention in the long run. This personality refuses to cast magic on the basis that he does not believe he cast magic. He cannot invoke the Reaper or the Seeker on his own.

Aenalset Blank Victus

To be continued.

Powers and Strengths:
Cursed: His soul was imprinted onto a ceremonial bracelet forged through magic that speaks to him giving world the impression that he is insane, because his soul has been imprinted onto a bracelet he is immune to negative magic that acts indirectly. For example, illusion, deception, seduction or invisibility magic will fail targeting him specifically, if he has the power and potential to cast that spell himself.
For example, he would be immune to all indirect magic by another novice practitioner of the spell, even if he did not know the specific cast, but if the user were especially skilled with a spell or master at casting magic it would have double the potency, as opposed to immunity. Additionally, if a master cast a spell that he was pathetic in casting he would be immune. Another example,people with constant luck will now have normal luck against him.

Transformations: Has the ability to transform into a fox.

Analysis:He can directly place all entities except for Blank, the Reaper and the Seeker into one of three categories: Enemy, Victim or Innocent.

Weaknesses and Handicaps:
Cursed: Blank's magic was split into a black ruby and silver curved bracelet that he cannot invoke in the middle of a battle, however, if he Reaper or the Seeker initiated the battle magic can be cast. His soul was imprinted onto a ceremonial bracelet forged through magic that speaks to him giving world the impression that he is insane, because his soul has been imprinted onto a bracelet he cannot cast magic that can directly and negatively affect others. Nor can others cast magic that can either directly or indirectly and positively affect him. But all magic that can directly and negatively affects him still retains their affect. For example, illusion, deception, seduction or invisibility will succeed, if he has the skill necessary to cast those spells. Secondly, healing magic of any kind will fail to succeed, if cast upon him. The user might even become cursed themselves in response. Thirdly, spells such as lightning bolts, fireballs will fail, if he attempts to cast them. Essentially the bracelet split his soul into three parts. It destroyed the balance specifically necessary for him to cast magic well. Finally, directly cast negative spells that are successful will have more luck than usual to succeed against him.

Dissociative identity disorder: He possesses four distinct personalities, as a result learning to use magic in the Three Trials. Each trial split his soul into three parts, and his true personality has never revealed itself to him in his lifetime. The Elders speculate that he was never meant to possess magic, and him acquiring magic irreparably destroyed his soul. But one lone Elder speculated that he had too much magical potential to be allowed to exist inside one individual so he split it up into three parts. One part for his physical magic, another for his ocular magic and another part for him to judge the other two existing sides of his magic. He can often go days, weeks or months without remembering anything. Stripped Blank, the Reaper and the Seeker from accessing Aenalset's illusion magic.

Curse continued: His cursed bracelet might also on occasion speak into the mind of others around him, if Inari allows that sort connection to exist. This can occur with an ally,neutral or an enemy, and on these occasions Blank is not apart of this conversion. His soul is essentially forever held out in his hand. This bracelet can also be indirectly affected by magic and that affect passes over to Blank. This connection fractured Blank's mind into three separate personalities that drove the original owner insane. It normally chooses to work against him, when given the choice. His soul seems to only protect him against magic. Blank is ignorant of his soul's ability to communicate with others, and speaks with his true name so essentially often makes himself perpetually bound to the whims of a new master. This connection with the Reaper only occurs with other magically inclined races, and only negatively affects Blank after the Reaper encounters an especially gifted magical user. People who hear the Reaper hear the words coming out of Blank's mouth, as if Blank were delivering them. On the occasions that the Reaper or the Seeker speak Blank will not have access to that memory. A person can manipulate the Seeker or the Reaper into speaking, if either entity is fond of that person.

Frail Body/Cursed Scar : He is incapable of doing rigorous physical ability for longer periods of time, because of a cursed scar on his back that he obtained from trusting the Reaper. His cursed magical scar gives him constant pain that cannot be healed, because of his immunity to healing magic.

Loss of his real personality and memories: The boy's complete and whole personality became suppressed in the deepest recesses of his mind, as a result of using magic. All of his memories from before his mind was split between the Reaper and the Seeker have been completely erased, and he does not even remember that he has the ability transform into a fox, even though the ability is still available to him. It's just that all of those memories are split between the memories of the Reaper and the Seeker. He does not believe the Elders, the Reaper or the Seeker when they tell him he can transform into a fox. The Reaper and the Seeker retain that knowledge. In point of fact, when anyone tells Blank that he can cast magic he calls them insane or paranoid, only the Seeker or the Reaper can bring him to the point of casting magic.

History:

Preface:

To be continued.

Part one: The pavement bruises his claws, and he breaks the branches, and the trees whisper in his ears. He feels the wind chill his fur, as he reaches a mountain seemingly impossible to climb, and his arms and legs stretch out to feel his claws become hands and feet. He feels his clothes cover his face and body, and he pulls out an ivory dagger that ties to a rope, and throws it to the edge of cliff and it latches on. He feels the rope bruise his hands, as he climbs to the cliff. He finally sees the dagger stab into the heart of the mountain, while he begins to see his reflection stare back at him.

The trees whispered in his ears, as his feet bruised the branches and felt his claws bleed. His image reflected through a lake, as he sees his three tails glimmer in the moonlight and his white razor sharp fur shined brightly. He continued to run, until he discovered a tunnel of sewers. Ammonia filled his nostrils and his breathing became shallow, while he felt his arms and legs stretch in different directions. He began to walk with two feet, as his fur began recede into thin white strands on his palms and knuckles. He took out a dagger that was thin, hiltless and had an ivory blade with a silver handle. Aenalset felt the edges of the blade were not smooth or shapeless. He put the blade away, and the Ammonia began to peel the skin off his knees and make them bleed, as he made his way to a hidden entrance to the city. He sees throngs of people walk past a pub that has a symbol with two hammers that make a cross. He opens the door and his teeth became chilled. He sees a man in a black suit of armor guard a door and he approached him, and he handed him a replica of a the dagger that hangs on the wall. The guard revealed a corridor that lead to a stairway. The people sitting in the pub did not seem to notice the corridor that appeared before him. Making his way up the stairs he saw the Elders wearing cloaks who sat at a table.

The wind sang into his ears that reverberated through the glass, as the Elders spoke.

“You wish to learn magic?” The Elders hissed.

“Why should I not learn magic?” Aenalset mused.

The Elders discussed the dangers in letting one so young attempt to influence the world through the astral plane.

“The Three Trials, ” The Elders said in unison.

The Elders agreed and sent Aenalset on his way to finish the three trials and learn his way through magic.

“Where am I headed?” Aenalset insisted.

“The Planes of Revelation, ” The Elders did not elaborate.

The Elders hand Aenalset back his dagger, and he begins to see his reflection staring back at him and he imagines the future.

Aenalset pulls his dagger out from the mountain and sees a cave stand before him. Light glimmers and reflects backwards and inwards upon itself again and again, as he walks through the cave. He sees a distorted image of himself imprinted upon the caves walls. The lights and reflections within the cave coalesce and reveal a room filled with crystals, and the light enters into his silver curved bracelet, and Aenalset begins to hear a voice.

“Hello Blank, I am the Reaper, “ The Reaper mused.

Now that the cave no longer glimmers Aenalset sees a new corridor. Aenalset walks through the corridor and feels dread, as he looks down and sees a vacuum of space below a narrow passage way. He feels heat dagger into his skin, as his throat dries up. As he begins to walk through the corridor, the room melts off the rocks and the remnants block the entrance to the corridor.

“The only way upwards is forward, ” The Reaper hissed.

His arms and legs begin recede into claws, as his threads of hair coalesce into fur that covers his body. No longer blinded by his human eyes blocking his way he sees light at the end of the tunnel, and he races toward the exit. His claws ache and bleed, as he makes his way across the tundra of the cave making sure not to look down. But when he reaches the exit, a wall of the elements hinders his path. The Reaper reaches out to Inari on behalf of Aenalset.

“The one true God who exists in all the hearts and minds of all creatures and magic reveal yourself please. If you would will it, the boy deserves to survive this, “ The Reaper screamed in the deepest recesses of Aenalset’s mind.

The Reaper still did not get an answer, but he began to remember the old text of the Kitsune. The Reaper remembers how sacrificing something important to Inari would bring the God to the boy’s aid. Reluctantly, the Reaper took control of the boy and took the Soul Catcher and plunged into the Fox’s back. Aenalset was not aware any of this was going on so he did not cry out, and because the blade was forged through the magic and self inflicted it became a cursed scar that could never be healed through magic. The glimmer and lights returned to the cave, and Aenalset feels his feet become wet, as he exited the cave. His claws bruised the branches, as his fur feels the heat blaze across his body, and he once again hears the trees whisper into his ears.

End of Part One.

Part Two:
Aenalset feels a thin small dagger plunge into his veins by a gnome scientist who decided that his situation was interesting. Adrenaline rushes through his veins, and he recalls how he managed to get on this operating table.

The Reaper took control of his body in order teach Aenalset how to survive this world that allowed Aenalset to find gnome scientist on the fringes to operate on his back. Blank woke up in a tavern with no memory of how he got there. A note was left with instructions.

“Dawn: Industrial District, ” Aenalset read.

Aenalset got up that morning and followed the instructions.

“No magic, ” he hissed under his breath.

He saw a door with two hammers that make a cross so he went inside, and gnome was sitting there waiting for him. The gnome began to interrogate on how he got the scar, as he mentioned that a cursed scar like that is more rare than you might think.

“Your scar precludes the use of magic to indirectly heal you so the best method I can devise is something that may fracture your soul even further than it is now, ” The gnome mused with a look of curiosity.

The Reaper began to speak without saying his name, but the gnome understood that a completely different entity was speaking on Aenalset's behalf.

“Do what ever you have to do to get this done, ” The Reaper commanded.

The adrenaline that rushed through his veins brought Aenalset back to the present.

The table rotates vertically so Aenalset faces the scientist. Aenalset feels hundreds of Volts of electricity rush through his veins and waves of screams erupt from his lungs and the gnome smiles. The gnome proceeds to drill into Aenalset’s mind, and Aenalset feels another entity take control of his body. The gnome realizes that Aenalset is burrowing deep into the recesses of his mind, and for a moment the color in his eyes vanished.

“So is this what you wanted to happen?” The Seeker insisted.

“Indeed, the boy’s mind has fractured into three distinct parts, as a result of the boy attempting to use magic. The furthest I can go is create an item that can house your consciousness for the boy, but only Elders will be able to take it from here. But the boy is to frail to do this without you, ” The gnome wonders, as he walks away.

The mind of Aenalset’s fox became an entity capable of taking control of him. In the gnome lab, the fox’s mind sees the Elders walk into the room and begin chanting. They prey to Inari to save the boy, and the price Inari requires is imprinting the boy’s fox consciousness onto a black ruby that is than attached to the Reaper. The Elders begin to speak to the fox.

“Your name is the Seeker, ” The Elders reveal.

The Elders discover that the personality that now resides within the boy’s mind is another imprint created by Inari though unaware of its purpose.

End of Part Two.

Part Three:

Aenalset no longer feels the ground beneath his feet, and sees light erupting from a rotating orb. He sees the Elders staff glow the same frequency of the orb, and begins to think about his situation, and he no longer feels his bracelet across his wrist or the chorus that usually clouds his mind.

“They must be casting magic around the Reaper and the Seeker in order for them to keep restrained like this, ” Aenalset hissed. Aenalset begins to look into the light erupting beneath him holding him in place.

Aenalset sees the Elder’s staffs glowing, as the light erupting beneath keeps his eyes looking straight. The Elder’s cast privacy spell that muted Aenalset’s ears and speech, and they brought out the Reaper and the Seeker. But no spell they cast allowed them to speak. Eventually a single Elder placed the black ruby filled silver bracelet on Aenalset’s wrist.

“You strip me of my body and try to force me to speak, and you expect us to be friends?” The Reapers speaks using Aenalset’s voice. The Elders realize that Aenalset’s consciousness vanished to parts unknown.

“His true Self? “ One of the Elders utters under his breath. “Can he even survive out there in the real world with this information?” The Elders begin to deliberate and one of them has an idea.

“May we prey to Inari to find an answer?” A single Elder speaks. Aenalset feels the dagger in his waist lift up and begin to glow, as he hears the Elders begin ranting some spells. Aenalset eyes turn blank and lifeless, as the Elders summon the dagger to stand in front of them. The Elders turn and face Aenalset’s body.

“Hello, what is your name?” They receive no response from the boy. The Elders return the Reaper and the Seeker to his wrist.

“My name is Blank, ” Blank laughed. His mind returns to the present.

Blank hears footsteps march towards his location, and the Elder’s staff stops glowing and Blank’s body is released.

End of Part Three.

Epilogue: Aenalset's Journals

Dear Elders,

First request of the damned, I find myself wandering the world in search of my memories, as the twice-cursed fox. Inari stripped of my magic for a crime that I can’t remember. Perhaps one day you will decide to tell me the truth. Every time I see a healing shifter or magicians they fail utterly. I leave it up to you to cure of this curse, as I can’t seem to feel the presence of Inari.


Sincerely yours, Blank.

----------------------------------------

Dear Elders,

Second request of the damned, I played chess today with an elf who called me a death god. I don’t understand what she meant. But for some reason I can only remember the beginning of the game and the resolution of it. My blackouts are getting worse. I wake up drenched in my own sweat surrounded by whore after whore, and I can’t see past my own impulses.



Sincerely yours, Blank.

----------------------------------------

Dear Elders,

Fifty third request of the damned, I don’t know weather or not I still send these journals, as I only remember the ones I right. But I assume you received the others, as I am not one to skip a step. I keep hearing rumors of people being cursed by my dagger’s spells.

“Dreams Cast by the Final Salute, ” Blank wrote.

Once a cursed book used word magic that read back my entire life in front of me. I don’t know what I am going to do about this. I feel like it’s my soul being in a thousand different directions.


Sincerely yours, Blank.

[Metarie]

At first pass, I think it's still to otherworldly and not enough mundane

I have a suggestion for you. If you want to RP this character, let me refer you to another site where I think it will fit better. Don't diss the name it's pretty good.

I think that this character is one that you want to play, but it comes across as not created for Thar Shaddin.

So, I recommend you take Aenalset to Unicorn's Visions: http://www.unicornsvisions.com/

If you would like to participate here, that's great! We've a strong, tight knit community. I suggest you go back and look through the getting started guide and character classified to get an idea of what we are looking for.

Thanks!!

[Metarie]

Updating this based on our conversation in chat!

I think Blank has potential, but not for Thar Shaddin. I encourage you to check out Unicorn's Vision for Blank, instead of trying to force a fairly well thought out character into the site.

You may be better served to re-read the Setting Essentials page and the New Character guide, then create a new character from scratch that is developed for specifically for the setting. Also, look at Character Classifieds to see what we are looking for.

New Character Guide: http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2543

Setting Essentials: http://www.tharshaddin.com/wiki/Setting_Essentials

Character Classifieds: http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewforum.php?f=46

Take a look at some of the "in canon" threads to get a feel for the other characters. These are with whom your character will interact.

And, chat with us in chat. We like that. Sometimes, okay? sometimes we're cranky, but you know we're just people, right? Yeah. I'm wafflng...

[Stella]

Replying as per your PM request.

I do think this character is still too powerful, but I do encourage you to use him elsewhere. One of my issues is that your split soul is very confusing to read. I'm not really clear on how magic affects or doesn't affect him depending on whatever variables you have. There's a lot of focus on what you call "battle magic," but you probably won't be fighting a lot here. From what I've read, that means that most of the abilities that other characters have that encourage writing, like illusions, luck, whatever, will not work on him. These are abilities that are meant to encourage story.

Abilities that encourage story are more important than fighting ability and abilities that negate other ones. Negating other abilities, by itself, is quite powerful. Notice how we have very few people who are immune to magic in any way. I do appreciate the complications you've added to that, but it's confusing to read and if I can't read it, you're not explaining it well enough. Maybe try simplifying it.

Mental disorders are interesting to play, but they are also -very- difficult. It alienates your character from others and makes interactions with other people very hard. I don't encourage it for first characters for the same reason why I don't encourage loner-type characters. Maybe tone it down to make things easier on yourself.

Perhaps try this character out somewhere else for now, or maybe keep him stored for later use while you build something new and simple.

I know we're picky, but it's really just because we want it to be easy to get into writing and actually have other people -enjoy- writing with you and vice versa.