Metel

[Metel]

Name: Metel Nezhnyy (mi-teel nej-nee)
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Race: Shifter (Grizzly Bear)
Height: 6’4” (as man)/6’9” (as bear)
Weight: 250 lbs (as man)/615 lbs (as bear)

Physical Description:

His rough skin is colored with a deep, sandy tan. His build is quite large and his body shows almost no signs of age. His left eye is a deep shade brown, while his right holds no resemblance to its counterpart. His right eye is void of color and sight, and is covered by a large, grotesque scar spanning half the length of his face. His right arm has a set of scars to match the one over his eye. A thick black goatee, with fading color, rest on his chin. A long mess of black dreadlocks, peppered with shades of grey, drape over his face and shoulders, while his forehead is covered by a torn, maroon bandana. His abdomen and upper arms are hugged tightly by a dark green sweater, and his shoulders by brown suspenders of a lighter shade than the rest of his outfit. He wears thick leather pants tucked into his much thicker leather boots. Each is a darker shade of brown than his eye.

Possessions:

Metel has a home near the edge of Zhaltev. His home is lightly furnished with simple, wooden effects that, like his home, he made himself. He owns several finely made sets of carpentry tools to ensure that he can stay in business. Metel owns nothing of value or significance other than his necklace. He has a small, hand-carved necklace that he keeps with him at all times that was made by his daughter. It is a small, wooden bear pendant on a string.

Powers or Strengths:

Metel is very strong and able for his age. He can hold his own in a fight, but tries not to make a habit of it. He is agile and has a very sharp sense of smell. This combined with his strength and skill make him a natural hunter. He tends to fight and hunter better while shifted (into a bear), but is more than capable as a man. His sense of smell also allows him to recognize other shifters for what they are.

He was born into a family of carpenters, and as such is quite skilled in its practice. He never considered another profession. He is fond of his carpentry and takes great pride in his skill and work. Being married to a Marnian, he learned to speak her native tongue. While it is noticeably lacking in grace and experience, it will do for a brief conversation.

Weaknesses:

Metel is not a very educated man. He has a general working knowledge of how the world works, and that’s good enough for him. While he tries to avoid a fight, he is ill-tempered and violent by nature. If someone ignores his warning or lashes out at him, a fight is nearly unavoidable. He also has a noticeable weakness: he is blind in his right eye. Due to a fight with a wolf shifter many years ago, he lost half of his sight and has a scar to let others know.

He tends to stay clear of any beast larger than him. If he cannot match its size by shifting, he wants nothing to do with it. This will occasionally interfere with his work, as he is not the largest animal in Zhaltev. A well-kept secret is that he is unable to swim. He was never taught and never learned as a result. His life has never required it of him, and he has never considered that it might.

History:

Metel was born into a large family of carpenters, all sharing a small home. It was a wooden house against a forest with Zhaltev to the south. Metel was the youngest of three children, having a brother and sister, with the eldest being his sister Anastacia. Metel’s brother died protecting him from a wild snow tiger when they were boys, causing his fear of animals larger than him, and probably motivating his masculine figure. During his late teens, Anastacia left for Marn and was murdered a few years later, presumably for being a shifter.

He spent the next few years tending to his parents, who were quite on in years. They died peacefully within weeks of each other. At this point in life, the age of 25, Metel was well known for his carpentry skill and was a frequent worker in Zhaltev. It was also at this time that he met his future wife, a traveler from Marn, Nemosine (Ni-mo-sai-o-nee). She bought him a drink after a long day’s work. They were married in two years’ time. They conceived a child the night of their marriage and named her Anastacia at birth. She had her mother’s features, raven hair and emerald eyes, but shared the deep tan of her Nezhnyy blood. Like her mother, she was a normal human.

When Metel was 31, he encountered an injured shifter while on the hunt. The shifter was a hyena who claimed to have been attacked by a wolf. The hyena had a wild appearance and a large scar stretching from the left of his mouth to the end of his jaw. Metel took the shifter home and his wife and daughter tended to the injuries. They opened their home to him for months as he healed, then he was on his way with thanks.

Days later, while Metel was working in the city, the hyena returned with a wolf shifter and kidnapped young Anna. Nemosine was killed by the wolf, trying to protect her daughter. During the struggle, Metel had returned home, only to see his wife dead and the man he had saved clutching his daughter. Enraged, he attacked the wolf shifter as the hyena made his escape. The wolf was quickly killed and Metel made off for the hyena. After only a few minutes, Metel came across a small hand, gnawed off just below the wrist, which smelled of his daughter. His insides churned as he followed a trail of blood leading to a charred corpse…the size of a little girl.

After coming to terms with the deaths of his wife and daughter, he made a new home in Zhaltev. He still works his carpentry and hunts in the woods as he used to. But for 14 years he has waited. Waited for the day that he catches the scent of an unfortunate hyena. Nothing will prevent him from avenging his wife and daughter.

[Saruna]

Heyooo, thanks for your patience.

Eyropa, Zhaltev, and Marn all speak the same Greek-based language. While there are likely regional languages, Marn primarily speaks the Greek (with little to no support for other languages present in their government), and Eyropa primarily speaks the Greek (seeing as how they revere Theogios, a Greek Changer). I would have his wife come from a different city if you want there to be a language barrier.

Strengths:

I'm going to need you to specify what sort of fighting skills he has. Please note that until you have been with us awhile (more than three months and in a few threads, generally) you will not be able to have a character with more than average fighting abilities unless there is a significant weakness to balance a stronger fighting ability out. Please specify type of weapon he uses.

Is his sense of smell better than an average bear's? The same? Slightly less? (this will matter in zhaltev)

I would change the "His sense of smell also allows him to recognize other shifters for what they are." to "is sense of smell also allows him to recognize other normal shifters for what they are" to allow for any characters specifically built to avoid detection by smell (we don't have any now, but it's an important distinction to make).

I would like to see one more strength, perhaps one related to his personality that speaks to his character.

Does he have an accelerated healing ability, like most shifters (if so, the eye will need to be explained).

Weaknesses:

I would like to see a greater emphasis on how his ill-tempered and violent nature is a weakness. After all, if a man picks fights often and doesn't lose, how would having a bad attitude be a weakness? How has his temperament affected his reputation? If he picks fights and loses, how has that affected his body?

He tends to stay clear of any beast larger than him.

Except for mammoth shifters, which are not common in zhaltev, and whale shifters, which likely are not the best fighters, staying clear of beasts larger than he would refer to a painfully small percentage of the overall zhaltev population. That is not a weakness; considering most zhaltev shifters are wolves it implies that he is stronger than most of the population in zhaltev.

I would like to see two additional weakness, with at least one of them that will help him feel like a more rounded, flawed character. He feels a bit like a stock npc or background character at the moment.

History:

I would like to see a little something on how the hyena shifter got to zhaltev, and why.

I would like to see something on how Metel became a bear shifter.

I would like to see something on why/how a hyena and wolf shifter would kidnap a shifter's child and wife in Zhaltev. It looks a little silly and rushed, and I am getting an impression that you didn't really know what to do so you conjured up some violence/drama to make the character more interesting. It feels tacked on, and not well built into the character.

I would like to see some explanation on how his family remained safe as humans (or, if they're shifters, how a snow tiger got the better of his older brother) near Zhaltev.

I would like to see some integration of him into Zhaltev: does he belong to a clan, is he independent, something else -- and a reason for why and at least a few sentences dedicated to how.

If you have any questions related to Zhaltev I can try to answer them; Tov is the best source of info in Zhaltev.

Waited for the day that he catches the scent of an unfortunate hyena. Nothing will prevent him from avenging his wife and daughter.

This doesn't make sense. If he is such a good hunter, why hasn't he tracked them down? If he is so angry, why is he just waiting?

Honestly I'd reconsider that whole angle. If you want the character to be interesting, try thinking of things that make the people around you interesting. Don't just tack something on because you want to take a shortcut!

I have high hopes for you. So show me what you've got.

If you have any questions/whatever send me a pm or reply to the thread, chat, you know the drill. Please leave a reply when you make changes so I know to look at it.