Ellyrianna Meryn

[Ellyriana]

Age: 25

Race: Half-Human/Half-Fae

Physical Description: Ellyrianna has dark brown hair that falls in natural curls down past her chest. Her skin is a tanned sandy color. Her face is strikingly beautiful, with arched eyebrows and sultry deep-set eyes, which flicker a light blue-green. While normally her features seem almost harsh in their beauty, when she smiles her high cheekbones soften and full lips form a lovely arc.

Ellyrianna’s body is thin, but still retains the curvaceous bosom and hips that make her a woman. She most often dresses in the bright colors and intricate patterns of her homeland. Covered in jewelry, and often painting her face in exotic patterns. However, she sometimes dresses more to fit into the culture of Marn. She still tends towards loud colors and patterns, but then wears typical dresses.

Possessions: Many dresses of bright colors and intricate patterns, A large amount of ornate jewelry from her home (that is not worth much in Marn), A few brightly colored dresses that befit a prostitute of Marn, a simple anklet her father gave her with a solitary gold piece on it, and a small amount of herbal supplies.

Powers or Strengths:
Seduction:Ellyrianna is able to seduce men by connecting to the power of the astral plane. She slowly becomes what attracts them most. This can be sexually, or not sexually. It is based solely on desire. However, she must be careful how often she uses this magic as it can be highly addictive for her. IT also can erode at the sanity of the people she uses it on, if used too often.

Potions:
Ellyrianna has basic understanding of the making of herbal love potions, however they only work half of the time.

Weaknesses and Flaws: Ellyrianna tends to be self centered and shallow. She is a kind soul at heart, however when there’s a choice between doing something nice for someone, and doing something nice for herself, she will always choose the latter. She has a very addictive personality, which shows up in her use of magic. She rarely has any feelings for men, and when she does, she tends to stifle them.

History: Ellyrianna was born south of The Great Scar in Setkhantos. The story of her birth, as all of ours, starts before she was born. Her father was a sellsword and trader from Marn. He ventured south into Setkhantos in order to procure a rare, valuable dye that was only grown in the area. While there, he stayed with a small nomadic trade caravan. Amidst a night of drinking and revelry, a mysterious woman appeared to the caravan. She whispered to the musician who began to play a strangely beautiful melody. She danced for the men of the caravan, and took the trader from Marn to bed. Her name was Mesorlda, his, Rothorn. They stayed together for nine months, after which, a daughter was born. The next night, before the dawn, Mesorlda stole from the camp, never to return.

Rothorn named the daughter Ellyrianna, and treasured her as the only piece of Mesorlda he had left. He raised her in the city of Semerkhet. While they were not rich, he treated her to every kindness and loved her with every fiber of his being, so Ellyrianna never felt poor. One day, Rothorn was heading home, when he was stabbed by thugs whom he owed money. At the tender age of seven, Ellyrianna lost her only family in Semerkhet.

She stayed homeless on the streets for years, scraping to get by, until she was fifteen, when the madam of the city’s most exclusive brothel found her, and offered her a job. This is when Ellyrianna first discovered her talents. Her dancing, the madam said, was unparalleled. But Ellyrianna knew it went further than that. She could seduce men. But, we’re not talking about a normal seduction. She had the ability to effect people magically. If she concentrated, she could harness power from the astral plane to seduce men into wanting her. However, this power came at a cost. It was addictive. The more she used her magic, the more she needed to. Eventually, she seduced a man over and over, until he became so infatuated with her, he tried to murder her. When he attacked her, she grabbed a dagger she kept in her nightstand, and stabbed him to death.

And so, to escape the penalty of law, she fled Semerkhet. She spent short periods in Athena and Keltaris, however Ellyrianna longed to visit the homeland of her father, Marn. She remembered the stories of the city filled with taverns and ruins, with lords and ladies. Finally, after her long travels, she has reached Marn. She’s heard of the stories of magic users disappearing here, so she refuses to tell the government about her use of magics. They are something she barely understands, so why should she tell anyone else about them?

Ellyrianna is still not sure what she expects to find here, but anything that brings her closer to her father is something she desperately wants.

[Katona]

Welcome to Thar, Ellyriana! This is a good first character, but there are a few minor things I'd like to address.

First of all, I'd like to see her powers explained more thoroughly -- basically, how do they work? When you say she becomes what a person desires, is it illusory magic or does she actually alter their taste in women? Does this only work on men and why? How powerful is it and can it be overcome, for example if the person knows what's happening? What exactly do the love potions do and why does she need them if she can seduce people without them?

The personality flaws you have now are good but to be a well-rounded character, and to balance her powers, you should include some weaknesses that could be considered obstacles as well. One thing you haven't expanded on is her addictive personality. You've mentioned that she becomes addicted to magic use, but what exactly does that mean and how does it cause problems for her? And is she addicted to other things besides magic, if it's in her personality to do so? Does she have any addictions that might easily ruin her life?

As for her history, I'm sure you're aware that it would be very difficult for a child to survive alone, although it is possible and you're welcome to keep that back-story. However, Semerkhet tends to have a significant slave trade and it's likely a young girl would fall prey to slavers in a city where slavery is prominent. She also might have trouble being hired in a brothel as an underfed homeless child, considering she'd likely be dirty, sick, basically skin-and-bones, and anything else unpleasant that comes from having no income or any place to live. If the brothel is exclusive, how would they find her and why would they bother hiring her?

I should mention that you're definitely free to name cities in other parts of the north African part of Eyropa where Semerkhet is, and you can create your own cultures there. You don't have to stick to cities already created, but if you'd like to help develop Semerkhet or find out more about what's already in play, that's awesome too. If you get time, you should definitely join chat when some of the moderators are around and we can discuss options for your characters, or setting information, or whatever else might interest you or improve RP possibilities.

The last thing: you could definitely expand on what kind of person Ellyriana is, what motivates her, what gets in her way, how she sees the world in general, and how the events of her life have affected her. You don't need a whole lot but it would be nice to see what kind of person Ellyriana is underneath the prostitution. For one thing, if she's selfish then in what ways is she kind?

Anyway, sorry for the long review. I do like the character and it's great to see people making use of the different cultures around Pal Tahrenor, so I look forward to seeing what else you come up with. Reply to this thread when you're ready to have the app looked at again, and feel free to PM me or any of the other mods -- or catch one of us in chat -- if you have any questions!