Drunks and streakers and guards, oh my!

[Allen]

Allen grumbled at his human brother's good-natured questions. "Obviously I was flat on my fucking ass or I would've bloody well taken those young little fuckers by the balls and threw them across the bloody city-state." Allen was not pleased, they'd taken his favourite brew along with his clothes. He followed Drayel into the bunkhouse, also ignoring the stares. Obviously they were staring at his amazing and huge manhood and were obviously jealous of it and his manly beard, chest hair and pubic hair. He could braid that shit if he wanted to, but lacked the want or ambition to do so... plus the ladies don't like it.

He followed the leggy male up to what he assumed was his bunk room and accepted the clothes, pulling them on then scowling up at the man as the tunic covered not only was it was supposed to cover - but his legs and almost his feet. "I thought you said you'd give me a shirt, sod it all, not a fucking dress!"

[Asmodius Bloodhawk]

Asmodius looked thoughtful for a moment before saying "Ah well...I was raised as a farm-boy for the first 10 years of my life...but I always wanted to do something greater. I remember back when my father told me stories about the great warriors whom had come before my time...they were true heroes and great men, and I decided I want to become one of them, so he sent me off to train under my former master...he's dead now."

Asmodius extended his hand and said "Call me asmodius though...its nice to finally be properly introduced, miss fayane. I hope we'll be able to work together more closely in the near future." it wasnt meant to hit on her, more just that she interested him as a person.

[Drayel]

"I apologize dear dwarf. I don't have a shirt that is both wide enough and long enough for your manly chest. I had to make do with one too long. Would you like some pants?" Drayel chuckled as he handed the dwarf the last piece of articles. "I have some old boots if you need them."

"As for your muggers you said they were...Young? Like children?" Drayel frowned as he thought over concept. "Hm. The little bastards with the crap bomb sounded young too. Maybe it was your clothes they used for a casings. Or perhaps they aren't connected at all..."

Turning he gave Allen a dull stare, his cheeriness vanishing into exhausted acceptance. He drew in a breath and forced out a half hearted chuckle. He started towards the door with a quiet hum of thought before glancing back with a meek grin.

"So Allen, do you want to go find the crap bomb or should I?"

[Allen]

Fayane:

She looked at his hand a moment, confused by the offering before clasping it in her own hand and shaking it. "That would be...interesting I suppose." She wasn't sure if she liked the fact he wanted to work with her, and knew her mate wouldn't like it, so decided to be polite. "My mate would not be happy though, he is very possessive." Perhaps she was being too blunt? Deciding it didn't matter, the shifter turned once more to listen for the dwarf and his companion.

Allen:

Looking very insulted indeed at the very idea of his masculine clothing being used as shit-bomb shells, he told his human brother: "Well look it them together, and maybe the other two loeggers out there'll give us a hand. Then we can look for the little bastards." Allen did NOT like getting mugged...

[Asmodius Bloodhawk]

Asmodius nodded and said "I understand, really I do. I'm the jealous type to, as much as I despise to admit it. I just find you to be an interesting person, and I would simply like to get to know you better: however, I understand if your hands are tied."

The asmodius turned and looked back at the guard housing, saying "Sure is taking those two quite a while...wonder if somethings wrong. They didn't look like they were too friendly."

[Drayel]

"If it's us you're talking about Bloodhawk then I should let you know I am perfectly friendly to those I don't deem a fool." Drayel snorted rolling his eyes as he joined the two outside. "Allen and I have a start though. Fayane, do you mind if we search your yard for the crap bomb? We believe that Allen's clothes may have been used on it. If so then that means we can shackle the little bastards for theft."

Drayel chuckled cruely at the thought of catching the bastards and throwing them in irons. Oh dear yes he was going to shish-ka-bob those fools and hang their--. Wait, he must have his evil face on. He was getting odd looks... Clearing his throat he continued.

"So do you mind? May we look?"

[Allen]

Fayane: She raised an eyebrow at this, before smiling slightly. "You may indeed, guardsman Drayel. I shall go alert my mate, you three may feel free to let yourselves in. The gate is just over there." She gestured before moving towards her home.

Moving inside she caught Jerial studying it seemed, books lay scattered across her tables and floor, Jerial sitting in the center of the mess, muttering as he studied. She made her way over, carefully, before crouching before him. She slipped a glove off and cupped his cheek by means of greeting, bringing his eyes up to meet her own. Quietly she explained the strange men in their yard before bending and kissing him gently.

She was barely out of the range of his reach before he was distracted again by his books. Such a studious phoenix... Changers she loved him... Stepping outside, she began to assist the others.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Allen:

Allen looked with the others, the stench of shit was strong, but he couldn't find his clothes... He searched along the ground for anything that resembled material, growling when he came up with nothing. "Ya bastards find anything?" Allen grouched, hefting his overly large pants up so they didn't fall off his bloody arse. Leggy-chick had just entered the scene and he didn't want to scare her away with a show of his manly derriere.

[Asmodius Bloodhawk]

"My father's married to my mother, which is probably more than can be said for you, dwarf. No, I've not found anything here...seems as though someone was smart enough to collect the fabric, lest they incriminate themselves."

Asmodius was quick to snap out his response at the short man, before surveying the area...the stench was bad, but he was more than tough enough to avoid being dissuaded from the crime scene. The grass was stained a little brown where the shit had landed, and asmodius set to work thinking about trajectories and things of that sort...he wondered now, how had the bag of crap flown at drayel exactly? they might be able to ask someone, or at least find someone who was normally in the alley or part of the street from which it had been hurled.

[Drayel]

"You will treat Allen with a little more respect Bloodhawk." Drayel growled as his lips curled up threateningly. In the back of his mind he debated punching the other guard in the nose but came to realize it wasn't worth it. So instead he scowled as he glared at the younger guard. "I will not listen to you bad mouth a friend of mine. As for the clean up I'm not surprised."

Turning his eyes to the newest guardswoman he cleared his throat gently. "Do you recall any odd noises last night? Other than me yelling of course. Allen, your buttocks are mooning the nobles again."

[Allen]

Fayane shook her head even as Allen struggled with his trousers, cursing colourfully. Silently she passed him a length of cord she'd hunted up for him. Taking it with a grumbled thanks, Allen tied off the overly large trousers.

"None that I can recall." She answered. "This may sound odd, but perhaps you've heard of my abilities... I may be able to track the lads. All I ask is you don't question my methods."

[Drayel]

Question her... methods? Drayel frowned as he glanced warily at the woman. She didn't seem to be implying threats but he wasn't sure. She looked like a cold sort, like him only more ice than bark. Then again, she was a guard and he did throw crap in her yard. She'd want the bastards blood as much as he would.

"Alright." Drayel agreed. "Lead on then."

[Shade]

Shade groaned as he trudged down the streets, his lips curled down in a pouted frown. He was out of work once more, forced to take to the streets to try and earn his way. He wandered around with absolutely nothing in mind except food, irritations of stupid people and of course getting a job. He frowned again.

"I agreed to be a guard dog, not a damn work dog." he grouched as he kicked a nearby pebble. He snorted in disgust. "No doubt the farmers need a sheep dog but last time I even went near 'em they shot at me. Of course I was a wolf then but they could have at least let me walk through the damn field."

Another scoff of irritation and he glanced at the tower guards tower. He glared at it venomously as though it had insulted him. Spotting a nearby box Shade fumed at it, glaring at it with enough power to knock out a rhino. Rotten, useless and there Shade promptly decided to grab it and toss it high over the fence to his left (seeing as throwing it at the guard tower was stupid and utterly pointless). It went high and over the fence like he had planned but what he DIDN'T think about was the fact that somebody may be on the other side.

A loud whack and a shout of angry pain caught his attention. Alarmed Shade scrambled up the fence to peer over it, realizing now what he had done. On the ground a guard lay unconcious while a cloaked woman and another guard gaped at him. The concious guard turned and spotted Shade with a pinning glare. He ducked behind the fence again. Dammit, it was Drayel.

"SHAADE!!!"

[Fayane]

She'd started out, was about to make it through the gate, then the box came out of nowhere. It missed Allen's beard by inches, and her head by millimeters. She stared down at the now unconscious Bloodhawke before looking over at the man who ducked down. She looked at Drayel as he roared at the hiding man. Shade?

"I have no idea why you're screaming of creatures from the Astral Plane, Drayel, as they clearly didn't do it. I believe that man who ducked did. Honestly, how did you make it into the guard?" She grumbled before vaulting over the fence. "HALT! You're under arrest for the assult of a guard!" She barked as she landed behind the man, her blades drawn and pointed at his throat. "Resist arrest at your own risk."

Allen ran around to the other side. "Oi! Leggy-chick! I rekon that- Theogios's BALLS you're tall! Tall-boy here's name is Shade, I bet you anything." Fay's eyes dropped to the dwarf before peering up, cold as ice to the man before her. "True as this may be, the man assulted a guard. He shall be brought before justice."

[Drayel]

"You can't arrest him." Drayel growled as he came to join them. "He's unfortunately 'out of bounds' as dubbed by the city. He just got out of jail too if I remember it correctly. Greetings Shade."

"I see you're still a stick in the mud guard boy." Shade snorted as he eyed the (now) three companions with a dull glance of curiosity. His eyes fell on Fayane and he hummed with interest, his lip twisting up in a knowing smirk. "A lady guard? Odd. You smell rather strange. Oh well. So Sir Drayell what happens to be your mission this time? Hunting for gnomes?"

Drayel bristled with fury, his lips twitching as he glared at Shade. Shade however grinned back. Apparently the shifter had an odd habit of pissing off the guardsman. It not only passed time and amusement but it was a good stress reliever for one of them. Drayel was one of the few he males he actually called 'entertainment'. Amusing and rather explosive but none the less entertaining. Glancing over at Fay he gave her a wink.

"Do you need a dog?" Shade asked without bothering to wait for an answer. "I need work. Pay me and I'll track whatever ya want tracked."

"Sniff shit." Drayel snorted.

"Ouch.... Dray, you hurt my feelings...." Shade pouted unhappily.

"No literally." Drayel said with a snort. "You'll sniff shit. Some brats threw shit bombs at the guardhouse and we're trackin' em down."

"Oh..." Shade blinked before glancing at the dwarf. "So, why is he wearing too big of clothes that were clearly patched up by you?"

"He was robbed and they took his clothes." Drayel shrugged.

"I'll track 'em both for seventy Bishani."

"Forty."

"Sixty."

"Fifty."

"Fifty five."

"Deal." Drayel grumbled as he shook hands with the shifter. He inwardly winced. That was a hit to his wallet. "Get sniffing Wolfman."

"Aye sir." Shade grinned as he stripped off his shirt and fiddled with his belt. Glancing up at Fay he cleared his throat looking a little sheepish. "You - ah- may wish to turn around Ma'am. My man goods are about to be displayed temporarily."

[Fayane]

"They'll be exposed as a dog as well." But she turned away and took the opportunity to dig into her pouch. She counted out half the bashani Drayel had offered to pay the criminal before sliding it easily into his pouch, knowing he hadn't felt a thing. She hadn't watched pick-pockets just to catch them after all.

Allen simply continued to grumble about his clothes being taken and wondered when he could get home to get another set.