Valik & Grave (Work In Progress)

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Valik
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Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:13 am
Name: Valik

Valik & Grave (Work In Progress)

Post by Valik » Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:57 am

I'm omitting the history for now. I'll be working on it for at least a week or so, i want it to be good. But until then, I would appreciate any and all feedback on the character. Thanks :)

Name: Valik & Grave

Age: Judging by appearance alone, he seems to be in his mid-20’s / around 8

Race: Unknown / Puppet

Height: 6’2’’ / 2’

Weight: 140 lb’s / 10 lb’s

Physical Description: Valik is frail and sickly with pale skin. Tall and thin by human standards, he is little more than a skeletal frame sewn haphazardly into mangled flesh. Wounds ranging in severity from scratches to fatal cuts cover much of his body, but are hidden beneath his clothing. Silver hair, long and unkempt, yet unnaturally clean, hangs to just above his waist. A single crimson braid bound in bits of bone hangs from his right temple to his chest. He has a horrible sort of beauty, as if looking at him for very long could shatter your mind, inspiring awe, terror, and disgust almost simultaneously. The effect is strongest on creatures of magic. Dwarves, trolls, and other non-magical races are mostly immune. His eyes are disconcerting, the cloudy gray of the partially blinded, seemingly unaware of his surroundings, yet they hold a frightening intensity when they focus. Grave resembles a much younger Valik ( age 8 ), but with a tendency towards crueler features.

Possessions: Ill fitting and oddly matched clothing stolen from the cemetery and the small living puppet Grave (2ft high) which usually sits on his right shoulder.

Personality: Valik is has a fairly neutral outlook and a tendency to do as he pleases, consequences be damned. He is somewhat troubled by his own features and his inability to remember his past or identify with any other race. Although intelligent, he suffers from a general absent-mindedness which Grave exploits to cause trouble. Dark, sadistic, cunning, and manipulative, Grave is everything Valik is not. Mysterious, and likely malicious, motives drive everything he does; from the smallest mischief to the largest conspiracy, he never acts without reason. Valik suspects Grave knows more than he is letting on, and he may be right. They both share an intense hatred of any Gods or religion. The mere mention of either brings a cold, harsh light to Valik's otherwise passive eyes.

Powers or Strengths:

Puppet Form-On very rare occasion Grave can assert control over Valik’s body. Incapable of feeling pain and controlled remotely, Puppet Form is capable of great feats of strength and is nearly unstoppable.

Animation-Neither strength nor a weakness, he also has an odd ability. Whenever inanimate objects are exposed to his blood, they are animated. The actions, if any, of the items in question are entirely based on the objects own natures and are completely unpredictable.

The All Knowing-Despite his young form, Grave often displays an astonishing wealth of knowledge, though never without a price.

The Unliving-Neither Grave nor Valik need any form of sustenance.

Weaknesses:

Puppet Form-Maintaining Puppet Form is a constant struggle for control between Valik and Grave, it is not uncommon for the body to remain motionless for long periods of time while the conflicting wills clash. Additionally, any damage inflicted remains after the possession, leaving wounds Valik has to bear.

Illness-He is extremely ill, possibly the remnant of past injury, and is prone to fits of seizure.

Famished-His perpetual state of emaciation makes even the slightest physical exertion difficult.

Broken Beyond Repair-Traditional healing is ineffectual on Valik, and he recovers very slowly. As a result, all wounds are semi-permanent and a cause of constant agony.

Inseparable-Valik and Grave can never be very far apart. The greater the distance between the two, the weaker they get.

Motionless-Grave has only limited motor functions and prefers not having to move at all.

Emotion and Communication-Valik can be indecisive, even in life or death situations. He also has trouble interacting with many races due to his appearance and Grave's impish demeanor.
Last edited by Valik on Tue Mar 13, 2012 7:45 am, edited 6 times in total.

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Saruna
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Name: Saruna Rischett
Race: Human

Re: Valik & Grave (Work In Progress)

Post by Saruna » Tue Mar 13, 2012 2:35 am

Hey there, welcome to Thar!
He has a very surreal sort of beauty, as if looking at him for very long could shatter your mind, inspiring awe, terror, and disgust almost simultaneously
I think I understand where you are trying to go with this, but perhaps either 'surreal' or'beauty' isn't the word you're trying to go for. The only thing I can think of that gives me those sorts of reactions are colorful spiders, and their beauty I'd say is more along the veins of awful. But still, would this reaction happen to any species? Would trolls look upon him and feel that? Would elves? Dwarves? There are many different intelligent species on Pal Tahrenor, and all of them have different concepts of beauty.

As well, no two characters are alike. My human old woman, Saruna, would likely react to that type of appearance as you have written, but my middle aged battle hardened warrior Leni would be likely to just shrug it off and not feel a damn thing. Hell, she might even call him a dandy.

Hahaha, clothing stolen from the cemetary is awesome.

You're still missing a good chunk of the application itself (nothing on personality yet, no weaknesses yet, in addition to the history), so I'll just leave it at that. Please leave a reply in the thread when you're officially done working on him so we know to give you a full review.
#biologicallyconscientious||Characters and threads.

Valik
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Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:13 am
Name: Valik

Re: Valik & Grave (Work In Progress)

Post by Valik » Tue Mar 13, 2012 3:55 am

Thanks for the welcome :) I've cleaned it up a bit and added the things I missed, but it's still open for changes if necessary. It will still be a few days at the very least before i'm happy with the history.

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