Allen was, to say the least, outrageously amused. Well, at least he was until the booze was spilled.
"The hell's the matter with you leggy!?" Allen growled as he helped Egg clean up the mess. "All I do is offer you a drink, like any other would be, and joke with you like any other man would." Drawing up his stature he tilted his head back and looked at Drayel down his nose.
"Any real man, like Egg here, could see that."
Tall tales and Short Men
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Drayel simply stood dumbfounded as the two shorter men cleaned the table. One moment he was defiant and mean and the next he was the idiot standing awkwardly near the scowling men, covered in ale and blushing as he was full out scolded by the men he just sneered at. To make matters worse that dwarf's voice boomed across the bar attracting everybody else's attention.
Embarrassed as he was he couldn't help but feel a little guilty for barking at the barmaid. He glanced at her nervously and she looked at him. He grit his teeth as he stared down at her, trying ignore the stares of nearby onlookers as he tried to form some sort of apology but words never coming out. They looked at each other for a minute before he coughed into his fist and looked away.
"Go get a towel." He grumbled finally. "I'll clean up the floor."
Embarrassed as he was he couldn't help but feel a little guilty for barking at the barmaid. He glanced at her nervously and she looked at him. He grit his teeth as he stared down at her, trying ignore the stares of nearby onlookers as he tried to form some sort of apology but words never coming out. They looked at each other for a minute before he coughed into his fist and looked away.
"Go get a towel." He grumbled finally. "I'll clean up the floor."
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Egg looked at him.
"What? Now that you're embarassed we're good enough to be seen with, even if it is you trying to be contrite?"
The little man stomped outside and took a few calming breaths. Apparently, the stress of some of his new inventions was getting to him a little more than he had realized. He never snapped, or lost his temper. He was a happy person, but for some reason he was on a short fuse tonight. It wasn't very polite of him to treat the human like that, not very polite at all. He needed to be the bigger man-hehehehehehe- and act like a responsible adult and help clean and treat the man with the common courtesy he was due. Egg took another deep breath before turning to re-enter the tavern.
"What? Now that you're embarassed we're good enough to be seen with, even if it is you trying to be contrite?"
The little man stomped outside and took a few calming breaths. Apparently, the stress of some of his new inventions was getting to him a little more than he had realized. He never snapped, or lost his temper. He was a happy person, but for some reason he was on a short fuse tonight. It wasn't very polite of him to treat the human like that, not very polite at all. He needed to be the bigger man-hehehehehehe- and act like a responsible adult and help clean and treat the man with the common courtesy he was due. Egg took another deep breath before turning to re-enter the tavern.
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Allen glowered but passed him a spare rag, no sparing Egg a look when the gnome left. One thing he could understand and appreciate was manning up enough to apologize - even if not in words.
"Dun listen to the shorty, leggy. You're manning up and taking responsibility." Allen puffed out his chest proudly. "Even if your beard," Allen eyed the scraggle on Dray's chin, "is no where near as majestic as mine." He grinned before helping the barmaid finish cleaning the mess even as Egg strode in.
"Bout time you got here shorty."
"Dun listen to the shorty, leggy. You're manning up and taking responsibility." Allen puffed out his chest proudly. "Even if your beard," Allen eyed the scraggle on Dray's chin, "is no where near as majestic as mine." He grinned before helping the barmaid finish cleaning the mess even as Egg strode in.
"Bout time you got here shorty."
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Drayel ducked his head down as he took the rag from the dwarf and helped mop up the mess. The words from the dwarf made him roll his eyes but not before he touched his stubbly chin. Why would he want a beard? Then again, dwarfs always seemed to love beards. He couldn't figure out why though...
Cleaning the best he could Drayel let out a satisfied grunt as he stood and handed the barmaid the rag. He debated making up with the two shorter men whom he recently pissed off. After all, an angry dwarf and a pissed off gnome weren't something a guardsman wants on patrol.
"If you clean it now it won't get stiff or stink." he said flatly before glancing at the other two with a bit of a smirk on his lips."Also, bring over a round of ale on me. That is, if they aren't good enough to drink with a leggy human."
Cleaning the best he could Drayel let out a satisfied grunt as he stood and handed the barmaid the rag. He debated making up with the two shorter men whom he recently pissed off. After all, an angry dwarf and a pissed off gnome weren't something a guardsman wants on patrol.
"If you clean it now it won't get stiff or stink." he said flatly before glancing at the other two with a bit of a smirk on his lips."Also, bring over a round of ale on me. That is, if they aren't good enough to drink with a leggy human."
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Egg sniffed.
"I'm too tall to reach down to the table. I can't help my over grown physique."
He climbed back onto the seat he had had before the whole thing had started and smiled. Now that he had identified his problem, he could work with it so he wasn't so feisty about everything. Egg lifted his tankard and blew into the foam at the top, trying to make a thinned out area to drink from. He didn't comment on the man joining them, it seemed a moot point now.
"Alright Allen. Rules for this contest. Spit em out."
"I'm too tall to reach down to the table. I can't help my over grown physique."
He climbed back onto the seat he had had before the whole thing had started and smiled. Now that he had identified his problem, he could work with it so he wasn't so feisty about everything. Egg lifted his tankard and blew into the foam at the top, trying to make a thinned out area to drink from. He didn't comment on the man joining them, it seemed a moot point now.
"Alright Allen. Rules for this contest. Spit em out."
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Allen grinned, he liked this idea. Leggy was gonna join them and Egg had suggested rules! Allen chuckled to himself, this was going to be fun.
"No distracting the other man, and last man still upright wins." Allen grinned wickedly. "Sound easy enough, gentlemen?" The last word came out mockingly. Allen had the honor of a dwarf, so obviously he had no intentions of breaking his own rules.
But Leggy... Leggy seemed like a bit of a ruffian, even for a human. Egg just seemed too fucking polite break any rule. But he reasoned with himself even as he bellowed his massive order to Anna, alerting her of their drinking contest, you just never know
"Alright, gents," Allen snorted at his own joke, "add some bishani to the pile. With as much as I need to get reaaaaal drunk, it'll break your woman-purses." Allen roared, amused at his "creative" insult.
"No distracting the other man, and last man still upright wins." Allen grinned wickedly. "Sound easy enough, gentlemen?" The last word came out mockingly. Allen had the honor of a dwarf, so obviously he had no intentions of breaking his own rules.
But Leggy... Leggy seemed like a bit of a ruffian, even for a human. Egg just seemed too fucking polite break any rule. But he reasoned with himself even as he bellowed his massive order to Anna, alerting her of their drinking contest, you just never know
"Alright, gents," Allen snorted at his own joke, "add some bishani to the pile. With as much as I need to get reaaaaal drunk, it'll break your woman-purses." Allen roared, amused at his "creative" insult.
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Drayel sighed as he pulled up a chair and sat farthest from the gnome. He didn't look at him, not even a glance. He could handle a drink with the dwarf, and maybe if he pretended the gnome was a dwarf then tonight would be fine. Drayel heaved another sigh as he reached for his mug. Here we go...
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Egg laughed.
"I'm a brewer, little man! I drink more in a day than you do in a week! But do not worry. When you're flowery constitution makes you give up the contest, I will forgive you!"
Egg slammed down the tankard in front of his and belched, loud and long. He licked his lips and smiled happily as another tankard was set in front of him, only to be drank as quickly as the first. This was going to be a fun night! He looked around the tavern. This place was like a second home to him, even though no one here was what would really be called a friend. They liked his business and tolerated his strangeness, but other than Anna and her teasing, it was purely a business relationship with most of the people behind the counter.
He looked at their new table mate. He was still acting like they were demons or ghouls. Egg shrugged and looked at Allen as he drained a third tankard.
"One more rule, No Regurgitation."
"I'm a brewer, little man! I drink more in a day than you do in a week! But do not worry. When you're flowery constitution makes you give up the contest, I will forgive you!"
Egg slammed down the tankard in front of his and belched, loud and long. He licked his lips and smiled happily as another tankard was set in front of him, only to be drank as quickly as the first. This was going to be a fun night! He looked around the tavern. This place was like a second home to him, even though no one here was what would really be called a friend. They liked his business and tolerated his strangeness, but other than Anna and her teasing, it was purely a business relationship with most of the people behind the counter.
He looked at their new table mate. He was still acting like they were demons or ghouls. Egg shrugged and looked at Allen as he drained a third tankard.
"One more rule, No Regurgitation."
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Allen laughed heartily at the rule. "I'll not lose my ale THAT way Egg! Leggy over there however..." Allen snorted into his ale, the foam landing in his beard.
"And I drink TWICE as much as you do, gnome, because I drink this bar outta stock!" Allen roared, laughing even as a couple of the other patrons laughed in agreement.
"How're you doing over there leggy?"
"And I drink TWICE as much as you do, gnome, because I drink this bar outta stock!" Allen roared, laughing even as a couple of the other patrons laughed in agreement.
"How're you doing over there leggy?"
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Drayel glowered into his mug. Stupid dwarf.
"I'm just fine." he growled irritably as he downed another mug. "Just make sure you can keep up shortie."
Proud with his insult he reached for another with a determined glint in his eye.
What are you gonna do now, dwarf?
"I'm just fine." he growled irritably as he downed another mug. "Just make sure you can keep up shortie."
Proud with his insult he reached for another with a determined glint in his eye.
What are you gonna do now, dwarf?
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Egg stood, his legs a little wobbly.
"I'll be right back."
Egg walked into the back room where the facilities where located. He leaned against the wall and emptied his bladder, burping softly as he did. Going to leave, he was stopped by Anna, who needed more beer. It was at his home, and she had offered him her wagon with her son to drive it.
Walking back to his table, he reluctantly broke the news.
"Sadly, I must go, I need to help Anna refill her beer barrels. We will continue another time."
"I'll be right back."
Egg walked into the back room where the facilities where located. He leaned against the wall and emptied his bladder, burping softly as he did. Going to leave, he was stopped by Anna, who needed more beer. It was at his home, and she had offered him her wagon with her son to drive it.
Walking back to his table, he reluctantly broke the news.
"Sadly, I must go, I need to help Anna refill her beer barrels. We will continue another time."
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Allen, who was heading well into being drunk, could only nod affably at the gnome as he left, leaving the human alone with the dwarf. Both were, of course, reasonably drunk by now, with Anna's last barrel beside them.
"A toast!" Allen slurred, with only the bartender and Dray to hear, "To da leggy humans and their sexy females!" Allen roared in laughed, toppling off his stool.
"Wha're you doin' up dere, leggy? Giddown 'ere! The view's 'orrible but the floor's sooooo comfyyyy...." Allen slurred.
"A toast!" Allen slurred, with only the bartender and Dray to hear, "To da leggy humans and their sexy females!" Allen roared in laughed, toppling off his stool.
"Wha're you doin' up dere, leggy? Giddown 'ere! The view's 'orrible but the floor's sooooo comfyyyy...." Allen slurred.
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Drayel stared at the fuzzy thing on the floor, his sluggish mind trying to comprehend what the hell it was. Did it know him? Well it was talking to him so maybe it did? Oh to hell with it.
Drayel tried to stand but the world tilted and he was thrown to the floor. His face slammed into floor and said 'hello' much to Drayel's anger. Furious Drayel struggled to sit up only to have the world start rolling the wrong way again.
"Stop...spinning..." Drayel snarled smacking the floor in his fury. Not noticing chunks of wood fly past his face or the fact that the dwarf was laughing at him, Drayel sighed. Wait... where the hell'd the gnome go?
"Where....where's za gnome?" Drayel whispered crawling closer to the tall brown blob he guessed was a friend (Unfornuately it wasn't the dwarf like he thought. It was the table.). Another thought hit his muck of a brain. "Why'z you got four legs?"
Drayel tried to stand but the world tilted and he was thrown to the floor. His face slammed into floor and said 'hello' much to Drayel's anger. Furious Drayel struggled to sit up only to have the world start rolling the wrong way again.
"Stop...spinning..." Drayel snarled smacking the floor in his fury. Not noticing chunks of wood fly past his face or the fact that the dwarf was laughing at him, Drayel sighed. Wait... where the hell'd the gnome go?
"Where....where's za gnome?" Drayel whispered crawling closer to the tall brown blob he guessed was a friend (Unfornuately it wasn't the dwarf like he thought. It was the table.). Another thought hit his muck of a brain. "Why'z you got four legs?"
Re: Tall tales and Short Men
Allen laughed roughly, dragging himself over to the human, and smacked his leg to draw his attention.
"Over 'ere leggy... m'over 'ere... 'atz a table 'at is..." Allen slurred at the drunk human, snorting at the question about Egg.
"Y'like th' gnomie? His name's Eggle-... Eggem... Egg somethin' an' he left a looooooooooong time ago m'frien'. I coul' see if I can get his adre... home... where he lives, from that sexy leggy one." Allen pointed at the passed out whore in the corner.
"Over 'ere leggy... m'over 'ere... 'atz a table 'at is..." Allen slurred at the drunk human, snorting at the question about Egg.
"Y'like th' gnomie? His name's Eggle-... Eggem... Egg somethin' an' he left a looooooooooong time ago m'frien'. I coul' see if I can get his adre... home... where he lives, from that sexy leggy one." Allen pointed at the passed out whore in the corner.