Kyo Ryari

[Kyo Ryari]

Player Name: John
Name: Kyo Ryari
Age: 19
Race: Elven
Height: 5'8
Weight: 131

Physical Description: A young elf. Quite short for an elf, about average height of a human. Very slim, with little muscles, slightly larger leg muscles than anything else from travels and fleeing commonly. Has a large scar on his right shoulder from a past experience (in history below). Has mid-length grey hair, which looks like it hasn't been cut in atleast a year. Has blue eyes and strong hands. All traits passed on by his parents. Also seems slightly starved and dirty.

Possessions: Leather chest plate and leggings, iron boots. Over his armors he wears a black cloak, which can cover a majority of him from his back, and has a hood, usable to conceal identity and even possibly race due to his human-like qualities. He also has a right shoulder plate to protect his wound. He also at all times carries a steel blade crafted by a great blacksmith. The blade was his fathers and was his grandfathers before that...and so on. The blade was just a family heirloom and was not actually used as a weapon yet. It was also said to have been enchanted by a sorceress in the past and gives the family great luck. Kyo carries it as a self defence mechnism and still has not used it. He also believes in the luck it carries over the family. Due to the craftsmenship used in creation of the blade and its unused status the blade is still quite sharp even after years of not being sharpened. He also carries an iron dagger which he has had to use a few times for protection. The blade is quite tarnished and not quite fit for heavy combat. Kyo has very few Bishani on him at almost all times.
*Note, the sword, though unknown to kyo now actually has a spirit of one of his great ancestors melded into the blade by witchcraft. The spirit protects all that it deems worth as best it can. Though it is not limitless and only seems rare things as actually needing protect. A minor wound or cut it wont bother with. It would only provide minor luck benifits, and in a contiditon that would kill the wielder it could protect him/her may it be by mending wounds or preventing an attack in intirety. Though once the spirit uses its ability it passes on and leaves the blade. Making it simply an heirloom steel blade.

Powers or Strengths: His strengths are his intelligence and dexterous ways. He is a good tactician who plans most scenarios out instantly in his head and reacts quickly. Hes quite agile and sneaky and is quite the pickpocket. He also has luck on his side in most occasions because of his family heirloom. He has grown quite talented with silent and swift attacks usually after a long period of studying the target. All possible scenarios are pre-evaluated within Kyo's head prior to the engagement and if something goes off he can usually improvise quite swiftly.

Weaknesses: Is a very weak individual and has to use his stealth and dexterous skills to win a fight. He is also emotional and could be mentally attacked quite easily by harming someone or something he love. His temper also runs short easily and he will think alot less while enraged. After the year he has also gained a bit of an alcohol addiction and doesn't have a good judge in character. He does not really have any friends but most of his employers are quite grim people. He also isn't much of a talker and try to avoid people, at least until he gets to know them and comes around to liking them.

History ( I spaced this out so it wasn't all one big block):
Kyo as a young boy lived on a small farm in shim. As a young boy he worked on the farm with his family and the few hire-hands or servants which could be afforded. It wasn't a completely poor family but they were not wealthy either. When he became 15 his father gave him a family heirloom pasted down a long line. A blade with an inscription on it which says "with guidance..." he was told by his father. The writing is an old elvish language which became a bit useless and forgotten a few decades prior and is only legible to the elderly and the people who study dead language.

A few weeks after given the blade the family seemed to have had a bad turn of luck. A drought struck the land and the family made very little money off crop. Eventually they were forced to sell all of their land excluding their home. His mother try to turn in as much money she could selling her body for others uses, and his father worked as an servant to a family friend and worked on his farm to provide enough to keep the family alive, though just barely. As the winter struck the farmer friend no longer needed help with the farm and the family had slim to no income. As things couldn't seemingly get worse during a thunderstorm, farmland close to the house was hit by lightning, and fire blazed the lands, burning down the small family farmhouse. Kyo to his knowledge escaped the fire alone.

From then Kyo became a wanderer though he spent a majority of his time in Marn. He lived as a begger and sometimes resorted to stealing food and doing work he was unproud of. He works to keep his family name alive and for his own surival. Over the four years of being alone he developed some skills as a spy and an assailant. He frequently visits the farmland where his family house was a few years back and eventually he plans to buy back the land and build a house there like his previous house. Though he still is rather young, in the forceful conditions he grew and matured rather rapidly.

The first year after the houses burning he lived at his dads friends house. Once he turned 16 the family decided they could no longer support him and they sent him out on his own. They did it believing he would be able to survive on his own but they needed all of the money to keep themselves alive. His first stop on his lonesome was to Marn. He spent a few nights in the streets alone. Eventually a strange man who was in a dark ally wearing dressy called him over. Kyo though a bit before actually going over to the man. He thought of all the possible bad scenarios and really didn't care what had happened to himself at that point and decided to go see the man.

The man had took him in. He told Kyo that if he had done what he said, he would have a home and food to get him by. So Kyo agreed. The man told him he had to undergo some training first, so the man began to teach him about his 'business'. The man had sold drugs and also sold fraud equipment at cheap prices. He began to teach him how to make fake glass coins quite similar to Bishani. He also taught him how to see that their fake. He taught him ways of deception through and a few other charismatic tricks. He began doing small drug running trips and sold a few weapons of low standards for high prices.

After a year or so his tasks began ranking up a bit and became more rewarding. Not only did the young man have a house to stay at but also had money to do what he choose with. However his tasks were a bit more evil then selling fake equipment and doing drug runs. He became more of a assassin and was trained well with projectiles. He chooses not to use guns as they are too disruptive. Though after his murders he began to loose a bit of himself and wanted to get out.

One day he just left. He was unheard of again, though he still does walk around Marn. He just avoids the organization which he worked for previously. Now all of his pay comes from small odd jobs and he no longer tangles with any assassin work though he still does do minor crimes such as theft, drug sales, fake money creation, and aiding criminals in other ways. He tends to do more jobs such as fill in work for just a day or two at places such as taverns or shops doing some kind of job any person can do. He usually tries to keep a low profile and do jobs with little question of his history. He currently resides in Marn and sleeps in the streets still with the exception of days he decides to rent a room.

[Saruna]

Hey John, welcome to Thar!

A quick note before we get started: plurals of words do not need apostrophes between the end of the word and the s. Only when the plural is posessive or a contraction does it need the apostrophe. I'm definitely no grammar master (as Pagusel could tell you in a heartbeat) but the three in your first paragraph stuck out so I thought I'd offer my little knowledge.

While you gave a small description of what the sword is capable of doing, I would like you to expand this a little. Does it heal great wounds? Does it shield the user from any large threat or harm? Too much would be overpowered for our world, but I could see it helping a little. Limits need to be built into it, though, so we know it will not be used to auto deflect any sort of life threatening danger to your character.

I would like to see your powers/strengths and weaknesses expanded. He has had a hard life, and I am sure has had to do things he would not be happy with. Is he a prideful man? Is he good at sneaking around? Has he resorted to drink and drugs from his unhappiness? Is he a social person, and can he charm money from peoples' hands? How good is he at winning a fight? Can his temper be used as a strength, as when he is enraged is he capable of being a better fighter? Things like that. We like to see personality fleshed out in characters' applications, so both we and prospective rp partners can get a feel for your character.

Thanks for spacing out the history. Too big paragraphs online definitely make me go crosseyed.

I would like to see a little more in your history, maybe some further description of how far he wandered and some of his life in Marn. A lot can happen in four years. Are there any major people in his life? Has he done any truly terrible things? Whatever strikes your fancy.

Thank you for the app, and leave a reply here if you have any questions or are ready for a second look on the app!

[Kyo Ryari]

Okay so I butchered it up and pieced it back together adding more details. If it's not enough feel free to tell me and be as critical as needed I completely agree with and understand critic work to make sure everything needed is there.

Also I revised it but I might have missed something, as I did edit right in the middle of paragraphs lol.

[Saruna]

Alrighty, the only thing I'm going to harp on is that you watch your capitalization and reread through posts you make to try to cut out any smaller errors like using a word for something else accidentally (I'm pretty sure you used 'thought' and 'tough' in place of 'taught'). If you could sniff those out and fix them everything else looks pretty good!

[Kyo Ryari]

Alright, does that mean Im able to start now?
Edit: I fixed up the taught. It actually happened twice, and sorry about it. When I write alot at once I tend to make a really dumb mistake like that, and then it looks right to me when I proof read it somehow. I also have a tendency of adding after words because my Windows7 Auto Spell program is a bit odd and wont accept some words unless they are like that so... they start looking right to me.
Edit2: I found a few more if you've already read it, read it again ^_^ Lol.

Feel free to tell me any other mistakes you see.

P.S.: I had a question about the advertise other Roleplaying Forums in exchange for the other forum advertising your forum. I was curious if this applied to things other then forums. I own a modification of the MMO game Ragnarok Online, which has went through pretty crazy code edits to make it a Roleplaying-like MMO. Even though there are level's and classes and everyone is not the 100% customly edited unique individual its a combination of Roleplaying and an MMO to the best of our abilities. I didn't know if could advertise that here with the exchange or not as it is not a forum as stated, but like said it does follow the same idea of acting in the persona of someone in a new work just like here ^_^, going to be now, feel free to edit this part out of me rambling on about advertisements as if advertising a game is not allowed this most likely will not be.

[Saruna]

Ree and Meesha brought up a point to me that the elves are only about 3,000 years old in the setting. Since they live a long time (~300 years), that'd be about ten generations for the elves themselves. I thought perhaps you meant forgotten to his family, but on rereading it not so much. Maybe changing it to read more something like 'an archaic, unused form of elvish language' would make more sense given the setting and the elves themselves.

Almost done!

I'd say it should be fine to advertise that here. If it's not frug will let you know, no harm done.

[Kyo Ryari]

Alright thanks, i will fix it right now. Then ima go swimming ^_^. Ill check back afterwords, and about the advert, ill probably post it in a week or two as were currently offline. Transitioning from Beta to the actual game might be down a whole week. Thanks for the heads up too, I did read the lore but I didn't recall seeing a time where elves started coming into existence so I just assumed they've been there a long time.

[Saruna]

Approved.

Other characters available and interested in getting started can be found here: http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewforum.php?f=2 We recommend pming people to try to start threads, as most new members here seem to be rather shy about reaching out to others to get the ball rolling. Typically making a thread and waiting for others to join does not go well.

Additionally you can read through current plot threads here: http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewforum.php?f=2 Many of them are closed to additional characters, but it never hurts to ask!