Raven Bloodpool

[Sanityhatesme]

Player Name: Cassandra
Name: Raven Bloodpool
Age: 19
Race: Human (sorta; see history)
Height: 5' 10''
Weight: 137 lbs
Physical Description: Living in the forest has both advantages and drawbacks. Raven's skin, once possibly dark, is pale and coloured rather like ivory. It is clear, but speckled with the numerous scars she has acquired over the years. Her eyes, set under thin, black eyebrows, are scarily blue, a deep contrast against her odd coloured skin. Entwined around the pupil are little tendrils of yellow, crawling into the pale blue of the iris like invading vines. Her hair, reaching down to her waist, is black as the darkest, moonless night, pulled into a horse-tail, which is braided with bone-spikes encased in the length of it, tied off with leather bands. Her nose and mouth are fairly small. Her body is thin and lithe, nearly all muscle. Her stomach has visible abs, lean and muscular. Her breasts are small, bound with tight leather strips. Her clothing consists of a half-blouse made of black leather that cuts down her sides leaving her stomach and back exposed. It buckles at her hips on the piece of leather that serves as loincloth and half-breeches. These cover her front and her butt, but cut off there. She wears no shoes, her feet hardened from years of running barefoot along the forest floor and climbing countless trees. On the left side of her neck, is a coloured tattoo. A black raven rising out of a pool of blood, with blood dripping off its wings, beak, and talons. This is her Name-Mark. Raven Bloodpool.
Possessions: Forever with her, Raven's prized possessions are her weapons. Her longbow, made of yew and created by her mentor; her arrows, also made of yew and black gryphon feathers; her swords, double katanas, on both hips, their leather and metal infused sheaths the exact length and width; and her five daggers, two strapped to the sides of her thighs, two on her forearms, and one on her back, just below the neck. She also carries a small pack that contains her food, and her oiled cloak, made of oak leaves dyed black.
Powers or Strengths: Raven is practiced in war, including archery, swords, and hand to hand combat. Raised in the forest, she has learned stealth since she was small. Her gryphon, Corden, acts as another part of her. Though she has no magic, the magic of the gryphons allows her to communicate telepathically with him. After years, their minds are linked and together, they move as one.
Weaknesses: Raven's personality flaws are a big part of her. Her temper is easy to get the better of her, and she has a bad habit of exploding in anger, and acting out on her emotions, mostly anger and fear. She also has a strong sense of protection which causes her to make dangerously bad decisions when she feels she is responsible for the death, injury, kidnapping, or other misfortune of someone under her care. Another personality deformity is her lust for blood. She enjoys fighting, testing her skills, proving to herself that she can beat her enemies, no matter how big they are, or how powerful. Physically, she is in perfect health. However, she is a very slow healer, and, though she doesn't get injured often, when she does, she is in bed for a long time, many weeks.
History: Raven Bloodpool was raised in the forest. All she has ever known is the forest. Her Clan, the Black Riders, had been in this forest, the Sea of Dead Leaves, for hundreds of years. These Black Riders were protectors of the forest, from the wars and expansion of humanity. Together with a Clan of gryphons that was bred to the forest (black feathers, talons, and beaks, red-tinted eyes), they fought poachers and scouts, not allowing anyone, not even the occasional 'camper' more than a few meters into the forest itself. The Black Riders are no more than forty-some in number, including men, women, and children. The hierarchy system of the Black Riders is confusing at best. The leaders, Nex Salutor, meaning Death Callers, were chosen by their predecessors based on their strength of heart, character, mind, and body. The Nex Salutors would be a man and a woman, and they would become mates. However, this does not ensure the children's place as the next Nex Salutors. The second in command, the Cornu of Nex, the Horn of Death, is also picked by it's predecessor, and can be either male or female. The Cornu of Nex is also not entitled to become the Nex Salutor, but it does happen often. The healers, most usually female, though it is not mandatory, are called Vigoratus. They know all there is to know about the forest and its natural powers, as well as those of the creatures in it. The masters, Vinco, are those adults who take Apprentices and train them in the ways of the Black Riders, also known as the Niger Veho at it's most formal. Other jobs of the men and women are as follows: Fliers, the scouts; Infusco, the boarder protectors; Venator, the hunters. The more exotic jobs are these: Os, the masks, those who go in disguise to the outside world to gather intelligence and bring back information on battle strategies, etc.; Latrunculus, the mercenaries, those who go out into the world and 'sell their swords' to the world's kingdoms for money, with witch they buy supplies and weapons to bring back to their people.
When a child becomes an Apprentice, he or she is given the Cruor Vestigium, the Blood Mark. This is a tattoo on the person's neck, usually the left side, that is their name-sake. Raven's is the following: a black raven, rising out of a pool of blood, blood dripping from its talons, wings, and beak. This is the mark of the Black Rider.
Raven, at the age of thirteen became a Flyer with her friend Psyn Moeniabane, Man's Bane. Though he was, physically, more suitable for the job of the Infusco, his gryphon, Chane, was not. The two fought many battles together, growing strong in body and mind, as well as heart. They grew to love each other as brother and sister might, as well as potential mates. At age sixteen, they caught the Nex Salutors attention, and by age seventeen, their predecessors had died, of a rare disease that also killed off half of their population, as well as the Vigoratus. As the new Nex Salutors, the two friends had their work cut out for them, and somehow, drawing strength from each other, they brought the Black Riders out of eminent extinction. They grew to become strong leaders, Psyn's calm and decisive nature countering the rash, abrasive nature of Raven. When Raven turned nineteen, that terrible disease, struck again, leaving Raven bed-ridden and without a mate. Before he died, Psyn's eye had fallen on a young Venator, named Enjael Lightstain. He was young, only fifteen, but he was quick-witted, smart, and skilled with his crossbow and throwing daggers. Raven knew he could never replace Psyn, but the Clan needed a male leader as well as herself. She recruited him. A few months later, after she was sure he had gotten the hang of being a Nex Salutor, she left, taking on the guise of a Latrunculus. Her reasons were undefined, but Enjael knew. Raven was suffering a sort of mind-sickness. They had no name for it, only what it did. It threw the person into a weird depression, causing all rationality to leave her mind. Raven was heartsick for her mate. Her mind had told her that if she could not 'find herself' after such a loss, than she was no good to her Clan. Before she left, she chose a young Os, named Sakilla. Odd as it was, she had no Cruor Vestigium. No one was sure why. But Sakilla became the new Nex Salutor. And Raven left, going north east, into the land known as Eyropa.

[Niabi]

So I got around to reading this after a good long nap. I think the history part needs to be more about your character that you intend to play and less about the tribe that she comes from, sure it's good that you wanted to include that information but it would be better placed in another topic under World Development, so that we could learn more of her personal history here. Within that whole long list of names and jobs and whatnot, I didn't see anything about where she or her clan comes from, just talk of woods. Seeing as how the stretch of woods between Marn and Shim is far to small to support such a tribe, I would assume it is elsewhere.

Now about the character itself, I will come right out and say it, she is far too overpowered. She's a skilled killing machine decked out in weapons and her weaknesses are that she enjoys killing things and if she gets angry she kills things. And what about this magical beast thing of hers that you only briefly mention in the history? I want to see something written up about this creature and some real flaws come out.

Also, you are going to need to come up with some ideas for a new username for yourself because your current one goes against our naming rules.

[Niabi]

If you are still working on this, either leave a reply here and I'll look back over it again or send me a PM.

[Niabi]

This one also looks to be abandoned.