Rumors!

[Maara]

Devon has a birthmark on his right thigh in the shape of a heart... It's best not to ask how I know.

I heard that Drake (after a night of drinking) woke up one morning naked in bed with another man... Makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Thelonius Gant once tried to be a Stand up Comic, but was booed off stag five minutes into his act after telling a really lame joke involving Chuck Norris.

Frug secretly likes to collect stuffed unicorns.

I heard that Jenica isn’t really a vampire. She was just brainwashed into thinking she was. She is actually a cannibal with really pointy teeth. Go figure.

A little birdie told me that Lylessa Uluki is a lesbian and had discovered this early on in her marriage. She has yet to tell her husband.

[Drake]

According to rumor Geldenwing isn't actually a fairy. She's really more like a Frankenstein monster. Wings of a butterfly, skeleton of a goblin, face of a child, and mouth of a chihuahua.

Did you know Darkheart is a cross dresser? Yeah, apparently in his spare time he throws on a wig, makeup, a dress, and a stuffed bra then goes parading through Marn as a prostitute.

Oh, and Quinn was the original person cast to play The Soup Nazi on Seinfeld. She was eventually replaced as she play him "too mean and manly."

That evil priest guy, Phaloth, you know, the one that can reshape his body. Well, I was told by somebody that knows him pretty well that he learned to do that to replace body parts that he was born without. I'll leave which ones up to your mind, but get your mind in the gutter and you'll figure it out soon enough.

[Maara]

Rollick became extremely drunk one night after he heard a rumor that his wife might be a lesbian. He woke up the next morning next to a naked male elf *cough* Drake *cough*. He hasn’t told his wife yet. Personally, I don’t think he will.

[Drake]

I have it on good authority that Rollick is not really as old as he looks. He's actually nineteen years of age. The reason he looks as old as he does is all the stress he goes through living with Uluki. It's unclear what causes this stress, but it may be related to her constant nagging and fretting over her kids hating her.

[Gia Rilan]

Phaloth has rabies.

[Devon]

I heard Gia gave Phaloth the rabies....and she likes it doggy style.

*Bun dun dun DUNNN!!!!* (sarcastic drumroll...come on people that was funny!...grr)

[Quinn]

Uluki is actually Mystique from the X-Men, cunningly disguised and waiting for the correct moment to strike and ensure mutant rule of Pal Theranor. Her kids are the beginnings of a new evil mutant academy to rival that of Professor Xavier.

That whole Lightsword compound? Yeah, it's a front for an international drugs, candy and pineapple porn ring. Aorle directs most of the movies, and it's well known that he has a thing for feathers.

Julen was born a woman, and his wife thinks that's HOT!

[Gia Rilan]

In addition to having nearly every possible canine mental illness, Phaloth is also apparently the tooth fairy. Go figure.

[Lylessa Uluki]

Phaloth beats up girls.

[Frug]

Samahazai's deathly afraid of cats.

[Drake]

Well, apparently, Lucian is of the mind that tree sap makes a pretty good "personal" lubricant, if you catch my drift.

Aorle Kar seems to have recently developed a fear of flight. I imagine that'll cause a problem or two if he ever ascends, but at least the confusion and panic will give his Hebrew victims a few beating-free days.

It seems Julen has a reason for all his infidelity. Someone told me that the poor naive boy heard that famous song by Devo and took some of the words to heart.

Turns out that battlemage everyone's been talking about and Anto aren't the only illusionists in town. Yeah, you think Pagusel is hot now, but in truth she's a 70 year old Asian woman. Can you say ewww?

Christon Radu, Devon Akula, Everett Young, and Zhou Lei are actually starting a sort of Gentlemen's Club. First rule: No penises allowed. Second Rule: You don't talk about Eunuch Club. Third rule: No vulva either.

[Win Sabre]

Four words:

Two dusklings, one cup.

[Jenica Sabiny]

EW

[Frug]

Four words:

Two dusklings, one cup.

hahaha

[Metarie]

Four words:

Two dusklings, one cup.

hahaha

I'm too naive. I don't get it.