And now, presenting...

[Julian Daniels]

This is my last IC post, which is in Justice in a blade. Except I ran it through the translator here:
http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files/ao ... lator.html

Enjoy!

XYON S2D SLOWLEY FELNG TEH NIGHT ARE RUSH AROUND HIS FAEC ODLEY!!1!1!1 OMG THEIR HAD BAN A BREIF S3NSATION OF MILD PANE WHICH HE HAD IGNORED BUT DA MAN BN3ATH HIM HAD STRUGL3D EV3N AFTER HE ASKAD HIM NOT 2 SO NIECLEY!1111!! LOL SO H3 HAD HIT HIM V3RY HARD WIT TEH GAUNTL3T OF HIS RIGHT FIST WHICH SEMED 2 HAEV DENT3D ON DA MANS SKUL!1!1!1!! TEH TWISTED M3TAL GLINTED IN TEH MONLIGHT AND H3 STAERD AT IT ODLEY FASCINAETD FOR A MOMENT!!1!! OMG THEN A PORTION OF HIS MIND 2LD HIM IT WASNT RILLY NORMAL 2 R AT SUCH THNGS WIT FASCINATION AND SO H3 S2PAD AND CAREID ON STANDNG UP
IT!!1111111 WTF LOL SEM3D 2 TAEK AN AWFUL LONG TIEM AND A LOT OF 3FORT!1!!!1 OMG WTF ALMOST LIEK H3 HAD 2 TANSE AND R3LAX 3VARY MUSCLA INVOLVED IN DA PROCES MANUALY WHICH WAS ALSO OD!!11! OMG WTF HIS H3AD F3LT LIGHT VERY LIGHT IN FACT AND A H3ADACHE WAS BULYNG ITS WAY IN2 HIS CONSCIOSNES WIT GUS2 BUT HIS CONSTITUTION FOUGHT IT OF VALIANTLEY!!1!1!! OMG STIL 3V3N THOUGH HE HAD NOW S2D UP HE DIDNT SEM 2 B ABLE 2 STAY TAHT WAY V3RY W3L!!!!! WTF LOL HE SWAEYD ON3 WAY AND JUST WH3N HE MANAEGD 2 COUNTERACT THES BY LAANNG DA OPOSIET WAY H3 FOUND HIMSELF SWAYNG TAHT WAY SO HE HAD 2 LEAN TEH OTH3R WAY AGANE BUT THES BROUGHT HIM BAK OUT TEH OTHAR SIED OF HIS BALANCE AND MAED HIM FAL OVAR
CONVEINEINTLEY!!1!11 HE HAPANAD 2 FAL ON TEH PRISONER WHO WAS ALSO IN DA SLUGISH PROCAS OF G3TNG 2 HIS FET!!!!!!!!! WTF 253LBS OF SOLID XEN3TIAN MUSCLE COLAPS3D ON2 HIM BREAKNG A FAW RIBS AND CAUSNG A RAGED SCREM OF PANE AND SHOK 2 BLOW FORTH FROM HIS BROKAN CHEST!!!1!1 LOL TEH SOUND RATL3D ODLEY AROUND XYONS H3AD AS HA STRUGLAD 2 FOCUS REALISNG TAHT TEH MAN WAS CONSCIOSS TAHT HE WAS TRYNG 2 ESCAEP TAHT H3 RILLY SHUD HIT HIM AGANE TAHT HIS ARMS FALT 2 HAAVY TAHT HA RILLY RILLY CUDNT MUST3R DA EFORT AND IT WUD B BTER FOR HIM AND FOR DA RAST OF DA CITY IF HE JUST LADE DOWN AND W3NT 2 SLEP FOR A WHIEL UNTIL HIS BRANE WAS WORKNG PROPARLEY AGANE
INO3N!1!11! OMG LOL HOW3VER DECIEDD OTH3RWIES!1!!!11! OMG SCREMNG OUT OF HER SCABARD UNDER HER OWN INFLUENCA SHA DROP3D IN2 XYONS HAND WHICH REFLEXIEVLEY GRAB3D DA HILT AND SHA HAUL3D HIM 2 HIS FET AND SMAK3D HIM AROUND TEH HAAD WIT DA POMEL WHICH DIDNT MAEK HIS HEADACH3 ANY BT3R!111!11 OMG WTF AFT3R THIS TEH GLOWY SWORD WRANCHED OUT OF HIS HAND CAUSNG HIM 2 WINC3 AND CLUTCH HIS WRIST WIT DA SHER FORCAS INVOLV3D IN THES ACTION AND SLMMED H3R POM3L IN2 DA PRISON3RS FAEC
REPAAETDLEY
XYON!!11! OMG LOL S2D WATCHNG NOT QUIET SURE WUT WAS GONG ON!1111 OMG WTF A MINUTE OR SO AGO H3 CUDNT B SURA OF TAHT H3D HAD DA SITUATION UNDER CONTROL AND AV3RYTHNG HAD BEN GONG W3L AND THEN SOMATHNG SHARP AND BURNY HAD SMASH3D IN HIS FAEC AND H3D TAST3D A HORIBLE ACID KIND OF TAST3 AND TH3N HIS BRANE HAD GON3 ON STRIEK AND LEFT HIM WIT AN INVOIEC A LIST OF CHOR3S AND A SPLITNG H3ADACHE WHICH TEH GLOWY SWORD WHICH SOMEHOW BLONG3D 2 HIM BUT WAS MORE THAN TAHT AND WAS PART OF HIM HADNT HALPED BY SMAKNG HIM AND NOW SHE - SOM3THNG 2LD HIM DA SWORD WAS A SH3 - WAS BATNG HIS PRISONER UP WHO SEMAD SOUNDLEY UNCONSCIOS BY THES POINT
HE!!!!!! WTF TREID 2 SP3AK BUT HIS THROAT WAS 2 DRY AND HIS LIPS W3R3 2 SORE AND HIS 2NGU3 FELT LIEK IT HAD BALONAD 2 DA SIEZ OF A FOTBAL AND HIS LUNGS SCREMED WIT PANE AND DA BLOD ON HIS FAEC WHICH HED JUST NOTIECD SEMAD 2 BURN HIS SKIN AS IT FAL 2 TEH GROUND COATNG HIS LOV3LEY SHINY ARMOUR WIT A THIN RED TINT WHICH UPSET HIM B/C HAD SPANT HOURS POLISHNG IT TEH NIGHT BFORE AND IT SHUDNT B ALOW3D 2 GET DIRTY SO SON!!11! WTF LOL HE SAT BAK DOWN IN A FUNK AND START3D 2 TRY 2 CLEAN IT WIT HIS SLEVA BUT TAHT WAS MAED OF MATAL 2 AND GRAETD ACROS IT L3AVNG SCRATCHAS IN TEH STIKY R3D GL3MNG SURFAEC AND MAKNG A HORIBLE NOIES SO H3 DECIEDD HAD BTER NOT DO TAHT AGANE AND TREID 2 STAND BAK UP AXCEPT NOW HIS LEGS DIDNT WORK AND H3 CUDNT RAM3MBR HOW 2 UES THAM ALTHOUGH H3 TREID 2 FLEX HIS MUSCLAS OUT NOTHNG MUCH SEMED 2 B HAPENNG SO HE S3TL3D FOR SITNG WHER3 HE WAS AND WATCHNG HIS SWORD STIL BATERNG TEH LIEF OUT OF SOMAONA H3 RILLY DIDNT SEM 2 LIEK VERY MUCH
O!!11!!1!! WTF LOL YAS TAHT WAS Y TEH MAN HAD BEN VERY RUDE AND HADNT S2PED STUGLNG WHAN HED ASKED HIM 2!!!!1!11 OMG WTF TAHT WASNT NIEC SO H3D HIT HIM AND DENT3D HIS GAUNTLET!11!111 OMG LOL H3 HOISTED HIS ARM UP 2 SCRUTINIES HIS METAL GLOVA BUT OVERSHOT IT AND PUNCH3D HIMSELF IN TEH JAW V3RY HARD WHICH MAED HIM COLAPSE BAKWARDS AND MOAN A LITL3 BIT!1!!!1! OMG WTF WHARE WAS THEO??!!???!! OMG HE CUDNT R3MAMBR!11111!! LOL SLEP WAS A GOD OPTION HE DECIEDD SLEP AND ITL AL B BTER H3L WAEK UP IN TEH MORNNG RIGHT AS RANE AND HIS BRANE WIL WORK PROPARLEY AND HIS BODY MIGHT ACTUALY DO WUT HA T3LS IT 2 AND MAYB HIS SWORD WIL HAEV GOT BORED OF SMASHNG UP UNCONSCIOS CRIMINALS AND-
THA WORD CRIMINAL FLOAETD VAGUELEY THROUGH HIS BRANE ECHONG IN TEH SUD3N 3MPTIENS TAHT HIS VACATNG INTELIEGNCE HAD LEFT IT STRANDED IN!111!!! OMG IT WAND3RED AROUND IN VANE LOKNG FOR SOMATHNG 2 CONACT 2 AND FOUND TEH ONLEY THNG STIL LAFT OF XYON OF CALHOUN!!!1! OMG WTF LOL IT SUNK IN2 HIS CODE OF HONOUR AND POKED AT VARIOS PARTS OF IT PROBNG DA CODE WHICH WAS BURNED IN2 HIS MIND WIT F3ROCITY LIEK A D3NTIST POKNG VARIOS BAD TETH WATENG FOR TEH PANE 2 COM3
IT!1!!11!11 OMG WTF DIDNT!!11!1!1 OMG LOL BUT XYON S2D UP STRATCH3D AND WAND3R3D OVER 2 HIS CHARGA GRIPNG INO3N IN MID-POM3L STRIEK AND CAERFULY SLIDNG HER BAK IN2 H3R SCABARD!11!1!1! HE WAS OPERATNG ON FUL AU2-PILOT WHICH DIDNT ALOW FOR COMUNICATION WIT TEH W3APON BUT DA SWORD KN3W SHED GOT A LITLE CAREID AWAY AND SO COPERAETD WILNGLEY!!!111 WTF LOL XYON CALED 2 HIS PARTNAR AS HE HOIST3D DA UNCONSCIOS BODY ON2 HIS SHUD3R AND BGAN 2 WOK 2WARDS TEH GUARDHOUES WH3RE DA VAGRANT WUD SPEND DA NIGHT IN CELS!11!!!!! OMG WTF LOL USUALY THEYD GET A KIKNG ALTHOUGH AND SOMA PART OF XYONS MIND WHICH STIL POS3SAD A SANSE OF HUMOUR FOUND THES FUNY SO HE SMIELD THES ON3 LOKAD VERY MUCH LIEK H3D DIEVD IN2 A GNOMISH D3VIEC AND HAD HIS FAEC CAEVD IN!1!!! OMG WTF SO MAYB H3 WUDNT
XYON!1!11111! LOL WANDERAD PAST THEO AND OUT IN2 DA OPAN ROAD NOTICNG TEH FACT TAHT DA WOMAN WAS ABSANT WIT LITL3 R3MARK!!!1!111 OMG LOL WITHOUT EVAN CHEKNG TAHT TH3O WAS WOKNG BSIED HIM HA TURN3D 2 WHERE HIS F3LOW GUARDSMAN SHUD HAEV BEN AND SADE
THAO I THINK IVE BEN DRUG3D!!!!1! WTF

[Julen]

LOL!

Are you sure that isn't your post BEFORE you ran it through a spell check program?

[Drake]

Holy crap! I can't read a word of that man. That is absolutely hilarious. How do you keep finding these thing Xy? I mean, it seems like you just surf the net all day in search of humorous news and sites.

-translation for some of the people that are flocking to Thar lately.-

HOLEY CRAP!!!!11 OMG WTF LOL I CANT R3AD A WORD OF TAHT MAN!!1!11!!! OMG WTF LOL TAHT SI ABSOLUTELEY HILARIOS!!11!!! HOW DO U KEP FINDNG THES3 THNG XY??!!???! I MAAN IT SEMS LIEK U JUST SURF TEH NET AL DAY IN SEARCH OF HUMOROS NEWS AND SIETS!!1!!

[Xyon_of_Calhoun]

HOLEY CRAP!!!!11 OMG WTF LOL I CANT R3AD A WORD OF TAHT MAN!!1!11!!! OMG WTF LOL TAHT SI ABSOLUTELEY HILARIOS!!11!!! HOW DO U KEP FINDNG THES3 THNG XY??!!???! I MAAN IT SEMS LIEK U JUST SURF TEH NET AL DAY IN SEARCH OF HUMOROS NEWS AND SIETS!!1!!

That IS all I do... work is but an illusion...

[Blood Ravenous]

Lol I couldn't even get through the first sentence without cracking up. Funny stuff.

[Frug]

THES SI RIDICULOS!11!!11! OMG

[Xyon_of_Calhoun]

It may well be. But it's not that far from the truth, really.

I was once told by a nine-year-old-AOLer, after winning a game of chess against him, to "EAT MY SHIT ASSHOLE"... which, obviously, was said as "EAT MAH SHIT ASHOL3!!!11OMG WTF!!!!".

Verily.

[Xyon_of_Calhoun]

LOL!

Are you sure that isn't your post BEFORE you ran it through a spell check program?

Spellllllchekk? wassat?

[Gia Rilan]

I was once told by a nine-year-old-AOLer, after winning a game of chess against him, to "EAT MY SHIT ASSHOLE"... which, obviously, was said as "EAT MAH SHIT ASHOL3!!!11OMG WTF!!!!".

Verily.

Good lord. That's... I would say amusing but, well... 9 years old? I thought that they made a big deal about spelling at that age. What is he, fourth grade? Third? Who taught him that sort of language? And even if they did say that stuff around little kids, couldn't who ever said it have the decency to see that he spelled it right?

And, personal opinion here, the "OMG WTF" completely cancels out whatever emphasis was on the "eat my shit asshole" at the beginning. Because if you actually pronounce "omg" and "wtf" it sounds ridiculous.

[Devon]

.......and for all of you who are actually wondering about the actual pronunciation of some of the acronymatic words....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEWgs6YQR9A