Lawfin walked back to the entrance of the city, completely forgetting about the fight, only to find that his horse was missing. He thought to himself, 'It was that damn gnome, I know it, doesn't know how to let things go.'

Now left with the option to walk, he decided to stay in the city for a ...

A large crowd has now gathered around the gnome and the stranger, shouting, antagonizing, pushing for a fight. Angry voices yelling insults such as 'you can't take him,' and the such.

"This is the piece you asked for, and if it wasn't, then you need better handwriting." Said the gnome.

"Hey, if I ...

It's been five long weeks and not a single dragon, or powerful mage. Father used to battle them all the time, why can't I even find them?

*Five weeks ago*

Lawfin was at his home, making locks for customers. Several months earlier he had gotten a request for a lock he couldn't make without special ...

OK, so, are there any changes I should make? Maybe put in that he never actually did grand battle. Or is it safe just to assume these things?

OK, the only typo I found was the word one instead of on, and I fixed a few commas, changed the name, and took out the part with him having the hammer in his belt, since I put it above his door.

I understand the guard doesn't usually fight in battles, but they don't have a military, right? And I ...

I am done with my redone character. I went for something simpler.

UV is easier to get started in, but that's because they are of lesser skill than this site. I thought I improved a lot, this is the first time I've done something like this, so I wasn't quite sure on how to do things, your reason for sending me to the other link is so that it will be easier for me ...

Haha, so, basically I'm not good enough?

I believe I am done now. Hopefully it's good enough.

I still have more to do, I just need to cut it short for the night. But I'd like some feedback and maybe some suggestions if needed.

Player Name: Imogen Rain Archer

Character Name: Lawfin Blaschke

Age: 25

Race: Human

Height: 6'4"

Weight: 200 lbs

Physical Description:
A tall light skinned man. Toned body and physically fit. Muscular legs and arms and visible abs. Short dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. Thin eyebrows. A ...

Hey yall. My name is Imogen Archer. I like to go by Immy. I am brand new, this is my first day at the site. I do hope to get into some interesting stories with yall, I usually go for the epic fighting romance type. I love to write, any thing, stories and especially poetry.