Thar Shaddin

Name: Cole Fletcher
Age: 201
Race:Werewolf Human
Height:6.1
Weight:230
Physical Description:

Muscular Male Human with very dark brown hair combed back. Simple clothes of a peasant. Homespun woven threads. Looks mid thirties with several shallow scars on his face, and one deep scar cutting into his left jaw line. He is cleancut, with strong ethnic facial features. Even as a human his canine teeth are quite long, and his body has a density of hair.
His eye color runs chestnut brown.



Powers or Strengths:

Werewolf:Old enough to turn at will. Control of Bloodlust . Super Strength, speed, scent, sight, constitution, healing factor. Powerful claws and teeth.
Ability for powerful stealth, and able to hide his scent and aura from those that could detect such things.

Human: Intelligent and cunning. Reputation among Werewolf circles. Talented with ranged weapons and two weapon fighting. Exceptional Dexterity. Good with theatrics, drama, and disguises. Stealthy.

Weaknesses: If in Werewolf form too long, with go berserk. If he uses his power too much he must feed on living flesh.
Human Weaknesses: Seems to burn every bridge he crosses, pushes help and friends away.

Many, many enemies.

History:

Cole is a werewolf that has lived so long, the thrill of his powers has become mundane. He simply lives with what he is, without philosophy only practicality. He has lived in seclusion for many years in the mountains, and seeks powerful relics from which to empower himself so that those that hunt his kind will never kill him. He is a treasure hunter, and a seeker of information with one ear to the ground, and other at throats.
Some would call him an information broker, others would call him a grave robber. He works to keep himself a cipher, completely alone and undetectable. He uses subterfuge and disguise to keep himself hidden, hiding behind multiple identities and miss information.

Over the course of his life he as been a young human male, father and lover turned into a bloody mass murderer by one bite. He was biten in the woods protecting his wife and child from a powerful wolf. Unable to control his new found power, Cole slaughtered hundreds of people. Driven close to insanity, he delt with this guilt and pain alone; attempting suicide many times only to have his "better half" save his life.

Eventually he grew to understand the monster he was, and over many, many years was able to control the beast inside of him. Nothing will change what he was, but that doesn't mean he cannot change what he will become.

Younger lycans have known to meet him very rarely. If a werewolf has a particular lust for blood, Cole may take him under his claw and teach him for a week then leave never to see the werewolf again. His reputation is that of an old father figure. Rarely seen, but respected as an elder.

He has little love for werewolf, or human politics and avoids them, almost all together.. choosing to bear his bloodguilt alone.

As a werewolf, he is particularly large. His pelt is silver grey, with hints of white running down his spine. Because of his age, power, distinct size and pelt.. a large bounty has been placed on his head.

Vampires have a particular interest in his death, but that answer lies buried in mystery. He is seen as a threat because of his power but also the potential he has of unlocking a great secret involving relics.

Posessions:

Simple Brown homespun pants and coat, with a white linen undergarment. Black leather boots, gloves and overcoat. Grey cloak.
Makeup kit, wigs, small change of clothes-variety of styles.
Short sword, twin daggers. One musket, two flintlock pistols.
One "modern" sub machine gun. MP5 with five clips. One "modern" gnomish pistol with Black Beretta casing.
One shoulder holster. Leather belt with many pouches.
Maps, journal, leather satchel. Toiletries.
One ancient relic of protection: Tooth of an ancient werewolf he wears as a knecklace. This relic absorbs the velocity of objects heading towards him: bullets, swords, etc. Works almost like a six sense, turns on only when senses danger. Relic does not stop velocity, only slows. Can be drained, and recharged. (Recharging can involves shamanism of some kind.)

Side note: Did not name Fletcher after the other applicant. I use that name often. Can change if necessary. Slightly humorous that two applicants have same name. Could say I read it off her sheet, but all the more interesting that I use that name often.

There are a number of reasons why I can't approve this. If you return to check the forums we can talk about it.

Aside from the fact that he's probably overpowered, maybe not allowed to have those weapons, and backstory may conflict with elements of the world I don't know about... what's the problem?

So, um...since you like, totally know all that...ehem...

He's a character I've been building for a while, and tailored him to fit what I knew about Thar Shaddin.

Ok. Questions.

How powerful can he be as a werewolf.

What types of firearms can he use beside Gnomish Pistols.

What are Vampire's relationship to Werewolves in this world.

and can he keep his Magic Relic, or if not.. what can he have as far as relics.

Answer me these four riddles and I'll go back and rebuild him.

Thanks alot.

Cole wrote:How powerful can he be as a werewolf.

Much less powerful than you have him. As far as I can tell, he's immortal. There's nothing there saying that he has the weaknesses of any other werewolf. I understand he is 'older' than many other werewolves, but there should still be some weaknesses.
Just a question, but how does someone hide their scent? Close up all their pores? I don't see that happening.

Cole wrote:What types of firearms can he use beside Gnomish Pistols.

Ok, besides gnome pistols, he has a choice between gnome pistols, and gnome pistols. All joking aside, firearms are a relatively 'new' thing in Thar and Pal Tahrenor, and are still extremely unreliable. A semi-automatic weapon is suicide, especially since firing a single shot gives a pretty much 50/50 chance of a misfire/backfire/massive explosion.

Cole wrote:What are Vampire's relationship to Werewolves in this world.

As such, there has been no interaction between Vamps and WWs (that I know about). There's a grand total of 3 vamps in Thar (that being the maximum allowable at the moment), and 1 WW. It seems to fit that supernatural creatures like these would have an instinctive distrust of each other, especially since their weaknesses, even if no one believes the creatures exist, are common knowledge. Plus, it would probably be a little like a territorial thing.

At the moment, Bela, the most powerful vamp and the patron of Thar Shaddin, allows the other two vamps to run around his town, so long as too much trouble isn't caused. Jenica gets a little indulgence from Bela, since he sired her, and Morsereg has been given permission to be there, so long as he doesn't stir up too much trouble. I assume the same would be for Wolfhound, the WW-esque person currently strolling around Thar. Bela seems to be ignoring him since he isn't causing too much trouble, and it seems the guards/battlemages have him under control.

Cole wrote:can he keep his Magic Relic, or if not.. what can he have as far as relics.

No, he cannot keep his current relic. Combined with his regular WW talents, this puts him 'over-the-top' powerful. As for other relics, I would say none to start, but perhaps he happens across one while in Thar, or indeed, that is the reason he has come to Thar. He's heard of one he wants.


Last, and this doesn't answer a question you had, but stresses the most important aspect of Thar Shaddin as a writer's website.

This is, first and foremost, a writer's website. It's interactive storywriting. Part of the reason we ask you to type up your character in full sentences and paragraphs is because we want to see what type of a writer you are. Your history, although not bad, is not great either. The writing there is much better than in the rest of your application. Point form is unacceptable, and I noticed in your history a couple of parts where you put point form in the middle of a paragraph.
Example:

Cole wrote:His reputation is that of an old father figure. Rarely seen, but respected as an elder.

Proper punctuation is a must.

As Frug said, like this, the application simply cannot be approved. I suggest you redo the application in proper written form with the necessary adjustments, and we'll go on from there. If you are unsure of what we expect from a character application, read through a few of the approved characters in the 'Active Characters' forum. Please also take another look at the 'Rules' and 'Setting' links located at the top of each web page to be sure your character meshes with the locale of Thar Shaddin.

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask by sending a PM to Frug or myself.

Just a question, but how does someone hide their scent? Close up all their pores? I don't see that happening.

I can do it. But I'm special

Here is an update for my character. I have toned down his powers and increased his weaknesses, which should make him a more interesting choice to role-play.


Name:Cole Fletcher
Age: 201
Race:Werewolf Human
Height:6.1
Weight:230

Physical Description:

Cole is a fit human male with dark brown hair combed backwards. He wears frugal clothing that could mistake him for a figure of low income. The clothes are made from homespun woven threads.
As far as age is concerned he appears to be in his mid thirties with several shallow scars on his face, and one deep scar cutting into his left jaw line. He is clean cut, with strong ethnic facial features. Even as a human his canine teeth are quite long, and his body has a density of hair.
His eye color runs chestnut brown with yellow at the pupil.



Werewolf Powers or Strengths:

Cole is a werewolf not old enough to turn at will, but able to restrain his bestial urges during a full moon's light. He has super strength, speed, scent, sight, constitution, and healing factor. His natural weapons include powerful claws and teeth.
Over the years he has gained the ability of natural stealth, and able to mask his scent as purely an animal or that of a man, depending on his form. He is also able to hide his aura from those that could detect such things but it takes a great deal of energy and brings him close to feeding frenzy.

Human Powers and Strengths:

Cole is intelligent and cunning. He has a reputation among Werewolf circles. He is talented with ranged weapons and two weapon fighting. Because of his gift, he has exceptional dexterity in human form and strength. He is charismatic and good with theatrics, drama, and disguises. He prefers tact and subtly over brute force unless the natural urges overcome him.

Wolf form Weaknesses:

If Cole hunts in Werewolf form for too long, he will with go berserk and must feed on living flesh. Silver damages his body far more than steel or fire.

Human Weaknesses:

Cole has a crippling moral blood guilt that drives him away from human contact. He burns every bridge he crosses, pushes help and friends away. The most present weakness of his character is the ever present hunger for flesh, even while in human form he desires to kill. It is his willpower that makes him strong, but that does not mean he is not haunted day and night by unearthly temptations that he must subdue and overcome.

He has many enemies in his past, and many people that wish him dead.
These include bounty hunters, fellow treasure hunters, and those of divine faith.

History:

Cole is a werewolf that has lived so long, the thrill of his powers has become mundane. He simply lives with what he is, without philosophy only practicality. He has lived in seclusion for many years in the mountains, and seeks powerful relics from which to empower himself so that those that hunt his kind will never kill him. He is a treasure hunter, and a seeker of information with one ear to the ground, and one hand around a windpipe.
Some would call him an information broker, others would call him a grave robber. He works to keep himself a cipher, completely alone and undetectable. He uses subterfuge and disguise to keep himself hidden, hiding behind multiple identities and miss information.

Over the course of his life he as been a young human male, father and lover turned into a bloody mass murderer by one bite. He was bitten in the woods protecting his wife and child from a powerful wolf. Unable to control his new found power, Cole slaughtered hundreds of people. Driven close to insanity, he dealt with this guilt and pain alone; attempting suicide many times only to have his "better half" save his life.

Eventually he grew to understand the monster he was, and over many, many years was able to control the beast inside of him. Nothing will change what he was, but that doesn't mean he cannot change what he will become.

Younger lycans have known to meet him very rarely. If a werewolf has a particular lust for blood, Cole may take him under his claw and teach him for a week then leave never to see the werewolf again. His reputation is that of an old father figure. He is rarely seen, but respected as an elder.

Cole has little love for werewolf, or human politics and avoids them almost all together. He chooses to bear his blood guilt alone.

As a werewolf, he is particularly large. His pelt is silver grey, with hints of white running down his spine. Because of his age, power, and distinct size a large bounty has been placed on his head.


Possessions List:

Simple Brown homespun pants and coat, with a white linen undergarment. Black leather boots, gloves and overcoat. Grey cloak.
Makeup kit, wigs, small change of clothes with a variety of styles.
Rapier, Short short, twin daggers.
Two gnomish pistols, two small hand crossbows and one very large crossbow. A leather belt with many pouches.
Maps, journal, leather satchel. Toiletries.


Goals:

Cole Fletcher comes to Tar Shaddin seeking a powerful relic. He has learned that the information he needs reside within these lands.

First off, not everything comes down to powers, so although the character is looking more reasonable than the first try, it's not going to be enough at this point. And powers are still an issue, though it's more than just that.

It's very difficult to work with a 200 year old magical relic hunting personable sneaky disguise drama talented information broker multiple pistol, crossbow, throwing knife, rapier and short sword wielding famous werewolf elder ranger who can mask his scent and werewolf aura... as your first character. I wonder if you looked at other profiles and rules.

Compare this to <a href="http://www.tharshaddin.com/rp/viewtopic ... 2">Raphael Quinn</a> who represents a good fair standard.


The character design alone is something that you can't strip without neutering, unless you make him non-combative. And by non-combative I mean he isn't good at fighting - not that he has a reputation for being nice but can kick everyone's ass anyway.


He's wandering the countryside on foot but he has two pistols, two hand crossbows, a very large crossbow, a rapier and a short sword, a pair of daggers, along with his essentials. Why? He is a one-man battalion... Who can also turn into a man eating beast. And one of the big ones.

Which on some levels is okay, maybe, if he was some kind of war mongering barbarian, except you also add that he's got all kinds of other social skills and fame.

The fact that he's vulnerable to silver is an okay weakness, enough for your average werewolf, although if you think about it, it's not much. Everyone is vulnerable to silver. Shifters just happen to be largely invulnerable to everything else.

The risk of him going into a rage and killing everyone around him isn't much of a weakness. It just means he'll kill more people and fight harder. The bounty on his head also doesn't apply to fairness.


That's the fairness aspect. As for the character himself, I don't understand him. He is a loner who hides in mystery and lies, does not engage in human or werewolf politics, has no personal philosophy or goals beyond hunting relics, and yet is somehow famous among other shifters? Why does he take young ones under his wing if he doesn't care? How do they know about him if he doesn't participate in any politics and hides behind multiple identities? How can he broker information from solitude in the woods?

If he has no love for either human or werewolf politics, how is he considered an elder? If he spends all his time alone, how is he so good at acting and drama?

To me, he looks like a hodgepodge of everything, designed to run into any kind of scenario - be it social, combat, puzzle or otherwise - and singlehandedly dominate the situation so that he can find a relic and become more powerful.

Some of those suggestion have very practical application and I will change him. IE Weapons.
I will also change to bio to make him more understandable as a character, as that seems to be a problem.

He is a loner, yes. But that is not to say he has not had relationships with the Werewolf commmunity in the past. He is an elder because of his age and has taken younger lycans under his claw to help the control their rage because he empathizes with their situation as having experienced it himself.

Having lived so long does not mean he's spent all his life in the woods, as having noted his characterstics and backstory, but I will add more backstory to flesh out his more sociable qualities.

He spends time alone because of his curse, but that doesn't make him a hermit.

I am not looking to build an insanely dominating character, but just an enjoyable one. Thank-you for your input, a new draft will be made soon.

Cole Fletcher wrote:he empathizes with their situation as having experienced it himself.

That makes sense.

You'll notice I call them shifters. Lycans makes me think of the movie Underworld, which was a good movie but not what this is based on. Actually this is closer to what Underworld is based on, White Wolf, which brings up another point and that is that I've always considered them a race, not a disease. One that spreads via procreation rather than biting.

That was not in the races section of the rules so I don't have much ground to stand on here unfortunately. There are actually two, maybe three shifters here and I play one. He's a special case but one thing remains constant, and that is that shifter society is a complicated and interesting affair. The werewolf is a nature-man who's closer to it than even elves, who are supposed to be all nature-folky.

They have a role to play and a large part of their society is about defining that role. It's not a simple affair although on the surface it might look that way. They have strict rules and customs (like a wolf does. Displays of force, when to fight and when not to, etc), and a belief system (like any intelligent creature), but they're also wolves so it means it comes down to strength and the alpha male. Wolves are pack animals, not like felines, suggesting they live together. Your loner would be an outcast and probably not well liked by the real, conservative elders.

But a werewolf living in human society has to reconcile all of this with his human half which is probably none of the above. Just some things to think about.