Jokes
Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:03 pm
Stolen from somethingawful today.
A good way to get to outer space is to lie about being an astronaut on your résumé or by boarding a space shuttle in a rented astronaut costume just before the launch countdown is initiated.
You can ripen any kind of fruit by putting it in the microwave for 20-30 seconds.
If you cannot afford to take your children to the zoo, drugging them and taking them to a pet store can be just as exciting. If you don't have any children, a wide range of sizes, shapes, colors, and genders are usually available to pick from in nearby parks and playgrounds.
Real goals and aspirations as well as friendship and love can often be substituted by a wholly imaginary façade called the Internet.
The greatest gift in life is not the laughter of a child, bur rather his or her sweet, sweet bone marrow and vital organs. The sooner you realize this the easier things will be come harvest season.
Most car problems go away or are less noticeable when you drive drunk.
When going out for a late night walk it is important to make sure that you have not mistakenly packed a slide whistle in place of your rape whistle. Such a mistake would only make a bad situation even worse.
A good way to get to outer space is to lie about being an astronaut on your résumé or by boarding a space shuttle in a rented astronaut costume just before the launch countdown is initiated.
You can ripen any kind of fruit by putting it in the microwave for 20-30 seconds.
If you cannot afford to take your children to the zoo, drugging them and taking them to a pet store can be just as exciting. If you don't have any children, a wide range of sizes, shapes, colors, and genders are usually available to pick from in nearby parks and playgrounds.
Real goals and aspirations as well as friendship and love can often be substituted by a wholly imaginary façade called the Internet.
The greatest gift in life is not the laughter of a child, bur rather his or her sweet, sweet bone marrow and vital organs. The sooner you realize this the easier things will be come harvest season.
Most car problems go away or are less noticeable when you drive drunk.
When going out for a late night walk it is important to make sure that you have not mistakenly packed a slide whistle in place of your rape whistle. Such a mistake would only make a bad situation even worse.
