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Corian - Editing Soon...

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 5:21 am
by Talnerith
Name: Corian

Age: 25
Race: Human
Height: 5' 10"
Weight: 180 lbs

Physical Description:
His dark brown eyes are friendly and inviting. His long brown hair is sometimes tied in a knot when he
is in a formal setting. Hailing from a family of farmers, his clothes are plain and comfortable;
usually a white tunic that is tucked under his brown trousers.

His wife is homely, but he loves her greatly. Her blue eyes and blonde hair, are far brighter in his
eyes. His newborn boy of five months has her mother's eyes, and small dark brown curls are forming on
his plump scalp.

Possessions:

Acquiring his house in Marn from his late grandfather was a blessing. The house sports two bedrooms. It
has a bathroom, kitchen and a fireplace. It is small but large enough for his family. The house is
situated on a cross-street where two larger buildings tower on either side.

When moving to his new house from Shim, his father had given him a rusty longsword. The only
weapon the family owned. "It'll be dangerous there in the big city! You've a family now son. Guard
them with your love and if need be your life..." His father told him. Corian now keeps it safely locked
away in his house, as a family heirloom.

Strengths:
"Foulness is everywhere, but it originates from here." Pointing to Corian's chest, his grandfather would
always tell him. Corian took this literately when he was a kid. He was suspicious of everyone,
thinking foulness could be found in the kindest of people. As years passed, what was once an idea
turned into something more tangible. He was beginning to notice when someone was lying or even
hiding something from him.

When he was young his grandfather, the merchant, would bring him to Marn to visit. Corian was
different than his brothers and sisters on the farm, and the old man took him in as his favorite. He
payed for his education at Marn. Corian was able to learn to read, write, and even basic mathematics.

Weaknesses:
His carefree life with his grandfather had negative effects as well. He would occasionally forget what
he was doing, as though his most recent thoughts fell from his minds eye. His father took him to
several doctors, but to no avail.

History:
His family lived on a farm in Shim. Corian's family was huge. He had ten siblings, six were brothers. He
was the second youngest child, and was the favorite of his grandfather. He would visit his Grandpa
every weekend, as he grew older. The old man would tell him stories of heroes and monsters. One
story most of all had struck an interest with the child.

"Why? Why would the brodder kill de other?" Corian's mouth twisted as he spoke. His innocent eyes
were confused sat up on the bed.

"They're princes lad. If one ought to be King, the other needs to be gone." He smiled at the kid as he
pulled the covers over Corian.

"That wazn't very nice."

"No tisn't laddy. Foulness is everywhere, but it originates from here." Pointing to Corian's chest. "You
make the hero or the villain yourself boy. Now go to bed."

When he was called back to the farm, he cried but knew his father needed him. So he returned to the
farm. For many years he helped his father grow the crops. Until the dreadful day they received word
that his grandfather had died and left all he had to young Corian. He cried many nights, thereafter.

He was more sad then he had ever been. He came to the city to sell the house, to forget the hurtful
memories it gave him. But as he was walking he had accidentally bumped into a young lady named
Jane. She was nice and extremely honest. She helped him find his way around Marn, and soon he
forgot about selling the house and turned his attention to Jane. She never told a lie to him, even now
still.

Now married and with a son, he recently found out that his grandfather had not died naturally. He
immediately quit his job, and is now determined to find out what happened.

Re: Corian

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:45 pm
by Saruna
Hey Talnerith, once more welcome to Thar and thanks for the application! Your character is looking like he has a pretty solid foundation, but I have a few questions and suggestions before we can move into approval.

I would like to clarify your first strength. Is his ability to suss out truths in people an innate magical ability, or is it just a personal ability to catch the tells people give?

For the weakness, am I reading it correctly that he has short term memory loss?

For both strength and weakness I'd like to see maybe one or two more. They don't have to be anything too significant (he's a pretty normal guy, so I'm not worried about balance), but things that maybe give a little more insight into who Corian is. Is he inordinately fearful of anything? Does he have a skill such as horseback riding? Does he have aptitude for swordsmanship? Does he have a green thumb? Is he nervous about being a father? Does he still have enough time for his family and are they a strong family, or is his quest for answers causing tension with his wife? Does he have enough money to live comfortably even without a job, or does he fear not having enough? Little things like that.

For his history I'd like to see a little more about his relationship with Jane and how he found out that his grandfather's death wasn't natural. It doesn't have to be very long; I'd like a few more details so that I can get a better feel for his personality in relation to such big events.