Thar Shaddin

Player Name: Falcone

Name: Kidate Darkfeather

Age: 27

Race: Half Elven

Height: Five feet Ten Inches.

Weight: 120 Pounds

Physical Description: Kidate has moderately long black hair, generally with no real style. He usually wears a black cotton jacket over a tan short sleeve shirt. As a half elven, he has ears longer than a humans but shorter than an elves, and of course, pointed.

Possessions: The only "weapon" Kidate possesses is a staff about five feet long, with a circular rune at the very top. Encased in the middle of this rune is a small seed, of a variety he has never gone to the trouble of finding out. He wears no armor, other than the clothes outlined above.

Powers or Strengths: He has the ability to sporadically control plants around him, but very weakly.

Weaknesses: Extremely low Self-Esteem. Little physical strength. Sporadic outbursts of magic, little of it voluntary.

History: Kidate takes after his elven side in his capacity for love of nature. He first performed nature magic as a young child, as he was being ridiculed for his human side, causing a root to trip one of his tormentors. This effort left him exhausted, and he fainted on the spot. The children who tormented him said nothing of this to their elders, not wanting them to know what they had been doing at the time. Since then, Kidate experienced sporadic outbursts of weak nature oriented magic. His most powerful being asking a tree to lower its branches for him, not expecting anything to happen. The tree obliged, and he was left drained of energy for days, laying there. The elves found him half dead, and nursed him. When the elders recieved his story, they were troubled that a human, even half elven, could use these powers. Unable to take their looks, Kidate left within weeks.

I have a few questions. First, you make no mention of him wearing pants or shoes of any kind and it states that he:

He wears no armor, other than the clothes outlined above.

and

He usually wears a black cotton jacket over a tan short sleeve shirt.

I assume that he would wear pants or shoes, but then again he could run around without them. I have a half naked character so I don't see why other people can't do it too.

Secondly, Where is Kidate from? There is no mention of a town in the history but because it talks about a population of elves that look down on him for being human, I would assume he would be from a place nearby Darleone Island. I guess he could be from Darleone itself as there are a few non-elves allowed there but his human parent would have to be seen as somebody special to be allowed on the island.

world map
Or he could be from Corezo, that's near enough to Darleone that there would be quite a few elves there and they might have the superiority complex that elves elsewhere in the world don't have.

map of Eyropa

I would like to see more written out about his power to influence plants and nature. What you have so far is rather vague and it doesn't give much of an idea as to what he can and can not do. I also want to see the character expanded on, I want to see more depth brought out. You can include strengths and powers that only involve his personality or everyday life. He could be a good cook or a handy with home repairs or something of the like.

The same is true with weaknesses. I like people to bring out flaws with the character that make them feel more alive. Does he have any fears? Regrets? Personality flaws that can be used as interesting plot devices?

I want to see the history expanded on as well. I want to see something that gives at least a generalized location to where he was born and raised. I want to know where he went when he left this area. nothing is said of his family, where where they or how where they involved/not involved with his childhood and these other children tormenting him. Where did his staff come from? What is the significance of the seed within it? Is it magical or is it purely decorative? Has he trained in using his plant magic since learning of his ability? Has he grown stronger? What are his views on magic and it's use?

Oh my.