Thar Shaddin

Player Name: Gabriella

Name: Ashen

Age: 17 years

Race: Half shifter Half Human (Shifts into A mountain lion)

Height: About 6'2

Weight: Around 145 pounds.

Physical Description:
Ashen is a smaller version of a Shifter, I would say, but she's one of the quickest. She has a dark gray colored fur with patches and tufts of a lighter gray and white around her chest and face. The tip of her long bushy tail is also white, along with her front and back paws. She has sharp green eyes that pierce through the dark; as she can see well. Her back left foot is twisted in an odd way, but it doesn't stop her from accomplishing what she must. She has scars in many areas, mostly the facial area. Half her right ear is torn off, and she has a scar down her right eye. Her appearence is quite frightening.
Her human form looks much like the wolf one, only more human, I guess. She has a silvery color hair, the same sharp green eyes, and the twisted foot and scars. The reason she is shorter, is because of being half human. But when she shifts, she's around 5'6. The only thing that makes her different in her human form is her fangs and her piercing eyes.

Possessions:
Not much, just double blades that she trains with often, a few Bishen, and a necklace that her mother gave her.

Powers or Strengths:
Intelligence
Ashen has great intelligence, inherited by her mother. She knows more than the average Shifter, and she can figure out the distances of area by estimation, and get a pretty close guess, etc.

Speed
She has incredible abilities for speed, which helps her alot. She can run up to eighty-five miles per hour, and what's even more incredible is that she can run and jump through trees at the same time and rate of speed. But she still has her twisted foot to deal with, and that makes her run a little awkward.

Telepathy
Ashen can speak to other animals and creatures through her mind, using telpathy, and it's very useful for reasoning.

Healing
Ashen can heal faster than the average human can.

Weaknesses:
Strength
She may have the agility, but she cannot do much with her strength, such as picking up heavy objects that way over two hundred pounds.

Money
She cannot control her money wisely. It always seems to be coming right out of her hands when she most needs it.

Death
Ashem is not afraid of getting out there into the middle of a fight, but she is very likely to retreat if it looks like she's losing. She is afraid of dying, for she is a young Shifter, and wants to keep it that way.

History:

The pain.
The suffering.
The terror.
All these things for as long as Ashen could remember, were horrible things. Brutal weapons used against her that scared her away from society. These things, part of her own flesh and blood, were the weapons. No, they weren't physical weapons like swords, and guns, but more like spiritual weapons.
Her father.
When Ashen was first born, she was shunned away, and sent off to be taken care of by her father's sister-in-law, for her father hated her because she was not fully human like himand blamed it on everyone else, especially his wife, for being a shifter. But then he wanted her back to sell her, like in an auction, but not until she was older, so she could be sold as a slave.
When she was old enough, she finally got the courage and ran away. Far away to be by herself, where no one would find her. At first, her father was angry, and sent out his dogs to look for her, but they never found her, and so they gave up. Angrily, but still, they gave up the search.
She had trained herself with her double blades for months, until she could hit the target exactly where she wanted it. Over periods of time, it was easier for her to use them. She also worked with her running skills, hoping they'll get better because of her foot, but she has doubts.
So that's when she decided to become a loner, for she knew she couldn't find a real home with people who would treat her with actual respect. So she lives up in a large cave deep in the middle of the woods, in the thickest, darkest parts, and when she does have needs, she shifts into whatever she must to hide her ugliness to provide for herself, such as going out to nearby villages, but it's still no use.
Staying in the woods in solitutde made her able to figure out how to talk to others through her mind, and she had worked on it for years.

Hi Ashen,

Thanks for applying. A few things, please.

I think you were headed in the right direction with the comment on the hypnosis skill about not using it too much, but for a new character I think that's a mite too much power.
Let's remove this for now as an active skill and put it as a thing she can work on developing through character development. Why? Basically, if she is as ugly as you write she is her ability to hypnotise another would probably be substantially reduced from a strictly charisma perspective.

Second, if she has a twisted, bum foot I don't picture her being very fast. Or, if she is, I'd think she'd at least be very awkward.

Lastly, how do you imagine her fitting into the setting. I note you write her as being a loner. What plot ideas did you have so that you are actively participating on the site?

Thanks!

Ree

Okay.
To your third comment, do I write that in the history part?

Sorry for having like so many mistakes....Iv'e roleplayed for a while, but it wasn't this complicated. This is probably a level up of what Iv'e been doing. More like five levels up. I'll get the hang of it. And one more question. Are we allowed to roleplay in 1st person?

I think you need to list the type of shifter that she is. That way others will know what to call her when they encounter her.

Is her height and weight that of her human form or of her animal form or of some kind of half thing? Does she even have a half form? If so, what does it look like?

Well you have listed that she carries blades. Can she use them? Does she have any training with them or does she just carry them around?

If you want her to be fast or skilled with weapons or vastly intelligent, I want to see something in her history that said that she has worked at these things to improve them.

You had in the app last night that she was a werewolf, does she have a weakness to silver like a lot of werewolves do? Or does she have the ability to heal at a faster than normal rate like other werewolves.

From what I gather from your history, she was born a shifter and was not turned into a werewolf. So I'm assuming that her parents were shifters too or at least one of them was. So why was her father involved in torturing her? Was he angry for some reason that he had fathered a child that was not human? Was the mother a shifter, who passed it on to her child and it angered the father?

I assume that she ran away from home to escape her father. How did that go? Did she finally build up the courage to run away or was she finally successful after many failed attempts?

What happened in these other villages that she tried to make a new home in? Was she shunned for being an outsider? Was she feared due to the many scars and wounds across her body? Did anyone try to help her or was she left to herself?

Why did she decide to live in the woods? How has living alone affected the way she thinks or interacts with others?

How does she regard the way she looks? Does she harbor resentment for her father for mistreating her or does she still fear him even though she has escaped?

The last few paragraphs was practically what I was getting at, but I'll fix it.

Please let us know if/when you make changes to your app.