Thar Shaddin

He was holding her a little too tight for her liking at that moment, but Soneya could understand the sentiment, so she neither said a word nor moved. Instead she quietly remained where she was, giving him the time and comfort he needed. Quietly, she listened to his tale, wondering how much he regretted taking this ominous potion. She had noticed the look on his face at times when he shifted one way or another, or she guessed it had been to do with shifting, since she was not quite so sure about what had really transpired since she had been attacked by snakes.

“Do you ever wonder what your life would have been if you hadn’t taken or even made that potion?” Soneya asked quietly, her voice barely reaching over the line of the fur wrapped around her. “And how far do these changes go? I mean, I’ve seen you grow wings and you’ve mentioned that you can fly. Can you turn into a fully fledged dragon?” Despite herself, her interest was piqued. “For Rhyn, it seems obvious. I’ve seen her in full leopard form and she is a natural shifter, so inhibitions in shifting would not make any sense, but for you...?” She left the rest of her sentence hang in the air, seeing no need to actually finish it. They all knew what she wanted to say, or so she hoped.

“How did your family become shifters, Rhyn?” Soneya added, her curiosity finally completely awakened.

"Minimal magic, I think." Rhyn tilted her head. A magic potion. She had never heard of a way to shift in that manner, but if he had done it, Kaevad himself stood as proof. "I am sorry. I do not mean to bring up memories to upset you." The apology was very quiet, lost underneath Soneya's questions.

Easily, Rhyn spoke before Kaevad needed to answer questions that might bring up more painful memories to him. She sat up slightly, positioning her head so that it was easy to catch sight of faces. "I was born a shifter. My mother was born a shifter, as was her mother. It's been generations. My mother was the perfect example of a snow leopard. She was pure white, her rosettes perfectly formed. She told me once that our entire tribe originated because of one man who wanted to be a snow leopard, and the change he enacted with his magic was permanent. From him, the first of us came." Her voice was filled with the warmth of a fire at night. "Not every child is born with the ability, but there are enough of us that have married other shifters that the majority of us are shifters, and those that are not are quickly adopted by families that live in the city, lest they die in the high-reaches."

She continued speaking, her voice turning soft and soothing, speaking of herself to spare Kaevad his own difficult life story. Hers was easy in comparison. "My father was a wolf. Two of my siblings were wolf-shifters, and the other a leopard, like me. It's encouraged to make sure we continue the line of snow leopards, but there are only so many of us.The magic for shifting is in our blood. We use it as we breathe. In the high reaches, we stay in our forms all the time. It is too cold otherwise."

He let the two talk for a time, slowly rleasing the girl. Once he felt less pauned he answered the girls questions. "I can indeed shift to a full dragon. It... Is quite the sight I am told. Do I regret drinking the potion? No longer, no. I have had far too many good experiances to regret it. I did at one time, however." he gestured to his scars. "These are a testament of those times."

Rhyn’s lifestory almost sounded like a fable from a fantasy book and Soneya was quite captivated by her explanations. “Your family sounds lovely,” she murmured in astonishment as Rhyn described her mother’s look and the fact that her father was wolf. “It must be quite an impressive sight to see you all together in your natural habitat.” It sounded more animal-like than human but Soneya didn’t know how else to put it, after all if they were running in their animal form most of the time when she was up north...

So many questions wanted to spill out but she didn’t know where to start. Neither did she know if it was welcome any longer to ask so many questions. Earlier, Kaevad had invited both of them to ask of him what they wanted to know but now he had not made such an offer, thus Soneya hesitated a little. Curiosity was burning however and she tentatively ventured another one as she followed his gestured to his scars with her eyes: “Would you mind telling us what happened?”

Realising just how personal this might once again be, she quickly added: “If it isn’t too painful, that is. I don’t want to send you into an abyss of bad memories.” She shrugged a little, as though it wouldn't matter to her either way, but the desire to hear more of his long life - she still could not fathom what 220 years of existence really meant - was plainly written on her face and in her glance.

Rhyn smiled at Soneya's awed voice, beginning to lick her paw, twisting the limb and catching in between the toes. Kaevad deigned to answer her question, and her ears tuned in, even as her teeth scraped over one of her claws, catching the tip and snapping it slightly.

It was good that the man no longer regretting drinking the potion that made him as he was. If he was going to be so long lived now, it would be better to live without regret. Her pale eyes saddened as she remembered her own losses, and she tried to imagine if the pain of them would ever fade away. Perhaps they would, if she had so much time as Kaevad did.

She shivered the muscles down her back,d ragging herself to the present as she vigorously began to clean her face.

So many questions... Kaevad couldn't help but to be flattered slightly by her interest. "I do not mind if you continue with the questions, Soneya. All I ask is you listen to my answers with an open mind, as I was very different then, as I was now." He tilted her head to meet his eyes solidly as he said this. "I have changed, so please do not think ill of me. I am working to correct my mistakes." His eyes held an old grief. And so he told his tale.

"After I had the potion and my master died, I incurred a few of the minor side effects. Growth, the pains that followed, a shift in temper..." He shook his head, remembering. "However, it had took another year before the potion truly kicked in." He took a shuddering breath before looking down at her. "I am not sure why I'm going into the details with you... perhaps it is to warn you, though I doubt you need one... or perhaps I believe you may understand. I hope this is the case." He shifted her so his hands no longer touched her skin, instead grabbing himself and the ground in an effort to avoid harming her if his claws flexed.

One more shuddering breath before he began: "I had a dream in which I was faced with a dragon - my dragon half if you will - and I was told to choose between life and death." His voice turned bitter. "I said I did not wish to die, as I was young and terrified of the idea. And so, I did not... my village did for me." He didn't notice the tears that now fell gently down his cheeks. "I-I woke up, and my mother and father were there... but the dragon had taken over... a sort of second state of mind. I could see what was happening, but I could not control myself. I killed them both and ate their hearts. I did this with every man, woman and child in my home village." His voice broke, and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"Afterwards, I tried to tear their souls from my body, tear the corruption from my soul, die as I believed I should have... but I never died, simply lived, and now I live for those I unwillingly consumed, and fight to protect those who live now."

She let him move her as he saw fit, conscious that he knew what he was doing and that he was not drawing away from her because she had stepped on his toes. Sensing that he needed a bit of distance, she shuffled a bit further away on her own as well, just far enough to give him space without her burning herself or the fur in the flames. Distracted as she was from herself, her headache had diminished to a dull throbbing somewhere in the back of her head, easily ignored. As she moved a little away from Kaevad, she planted herself closer to Rhyn, gently running a hand down her fur. It was amazing, the soothing effect a bit of hair could have. Soneya had never experienced anything like it, never having been allowed a pet.

Her hand swiftly moved away again when Kaevad dove deeper into his tail and yet another shiver grabbed hold of her so that she wrapped the pelt a little tighter around herself. Transfixed, she listened to him, her eyes glued to his face and especially to the tears running down his cheeks. So much pain, so much horror! Soneya didn’t know what to make of the whole thing. She couldn’t deny that it was absolutely horrible, and that he had done a horrendous crime. Eating his own parents’ hearts!!

At the same time, the pain that was in him, around him was almost overwhelming her and she felt the urge to touch him, hug him, something, just to show him that he was not alone, that he was not as horrifying as he thought he was.
Yet, she could not bring herself to move. Her background prevented her from doing anything but condemn his actions and him.
But how could she? After all he had done to protect her? Buried deep inside her memory, a small thought stirred, a realisation almost. Something that had happened in her past and of which she had barely any recollection at all, but it was one of the rare moments she remembered with her grandfather, brief and incomplete it seemed to be. Something he had mentioned to her in passing. Or had it been a story he had read to her? The memory eluded her however and as much as she wanted to remember, she could not.

What it left her with however, was a strong sensation that there was nothing wrong with forgiving Kaevad for what he had done so many years ago and for which he was trying to repent. Thus, without further ado and without thinking of how he might react, Soneya quickly moved back to Kaevad and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Silent, she listened, a stormy shadow in the firelight beside them as the rain continued outside, starting to fall even harder, to storm. She looked to Kaevad, and felt tears burning in her own eyes. It was one thing to lose your whole family, as she had, but it was so much worse to have been the cause of it, and the rest of one's tribe or village. Her ears went sideways. She would never be able to truly sympathize with the man, only accept his past for what it was.

Soneya's hand brushed over her fur, and Rhyn's eyes turned to her, unsure how to react to the uninvited, but non-intrusive touch. As the girl was already moving away, flinging her arms around the large man's neck, the snow leopard let it go. Instead, she warily watched for Kaevad's reaction. If he reacted with instinct, it could be dangerous. And really, it had been hard enough to stop Soneya from reacting in fear.

Truthfully, Rhyn thought that it was a little like looking after children, these regular humans from Marn. They were so weak in comparison. They would never know the glory of another form, or be powerful enough to protect themselves in the outside world. She, at least, felt as though they were people to be protected. But she knew that there was a hatred there that prevented it, for the most part.

A sigh escaped her as she drug her mind back to the present moment, scooting in a little closer and pressing against Kaevad. She had not killed her family, or Brad, but it could only be worse to carry that guilt with oneself if it was your fault. If, as Kaevad said, he had a 'dragon half' then it would hardly be appropriate for them to not expect a few slip ups in control. "All magic has its price. It is good you no longer regret the action, but still grieve the dead. They will forgive you as well, in time." She bumped her head against his arm, the most comfort she believed to be able to give him.

He hadn't been sure what to expect when she'd moved away, but it hadn't been her arms around his neck. He hugged her back as tight as he dared before lossening his grip so sue could escape easily. He looked to Rhyn. "I hope you are right, friend." he murmured sadly.

He looked down and squeezed the girl, drawing her attention up to his soft eyes. "Any more questions little one." he noted her eyes squinting... Something told him she had the same issue Aileen had had. Reaching up he gently began to work the tense muscles in her neck, loose.

There was that tiny moment in between her wrapping her arms around him and his reaction. This brief moment had Soneya’s heart almost stopped as she suddenly realised that she could potentially end up being seriously hurt. But as soon as he reciprocated, that thought vaporised into thin air and she merely held on to the fact that this foolish gesture seemed to have helped him a little. And for the time being that was all that mattered. To her at least.

“They will,” Soneya seconded Rhyn’s words. “For some it may take longer to forgive than for others, but they will. Some already may have forgiven you but you just haven’t noticed it.” For a long moment she gazed into his face, keeping her eyes locked on his for quite a while before she tore them away and slowly nodded. “I do have another question,” she admitted as she looked from Kaevad to Rhyn, dropping her arms to her side to scoop up the fur a little tighter again.

“Why does magic come at a seemingly rather painful price? And if it is as you say, why do so many people despise its users?” Apart from the fact that magic was supposed to be evil, that it wasn’t supposed to be the way people lived because it was dangerous and did nasty things – sure, she got all that, but why was it never mentioned that some of these so-called evil mages paid a terrible price for their abilities?

Rhyn blinked at Soneya's question. It was actually a very intelligent one. Some people used magic with seemingly no cost at all. Others, it came in the form of loss of energy, or a shift in personality. For Rhyn herself, she was not sure what the magic that helped her shift took from her. Perhaps her own discomfort with her human form was part of. She looked to Kaevad, and then to Soneya.

"I think that magic's price is different for each of us. For instance, I would be considered a magic user, but I do not suffer because of that. Kaevad, I think, suffers because he was...nonmagical, once." It was a theory that would need thinking upon. The cat fell silent, her tail coming around to curl over Soneya as she began to ponder.

"Rhyn is correct, Soneya." Kaevad rumbled. "Each of us pays a different price. Some pay higher prices than others. As for why people fear us... human nature is to fear what they cannot understand or control, little one. You can unarm a man of his blades, but you cannot unarm a man of his magic." He noted her arms dropped and allowed his grasp to loosen, though he didn't release her.

Lightening flashed and thunder roared overhead, causing Kaevad to frown and look outside the cave entrance as the wind swept the water and cold inside. He looked at the women. He knew he fit as a dragon - he'd spent a couple days in here resting in said form after all - but he didn't want to scare them. Another crash of thunder clapped, drawing his attention to the winds that began to howl.

"This storm grows worse..." Kaevad mutters to himself as he contemplates his third shift of the day. He was tired, hurting as it was, and comfortable as a human. He looked down at Soneya, hiding in his furs, frowning in contemplation. Such a small child so susceptible to the cold. He sighed, though it was covered by the screaming wind. Pushing the bear pelt on the girl, which was heavy enough to keep the rest of the pelts down, Kaevad strode to the entrance as the fire puffed out from the wind. "Don't be afraid!" He roared. "I'll not hurt ye." He sighed to himself. "Here I go again... Changers I hate doing this..." And shifted.

He couldn't stop the scream - his muscles and joints were already sore from the last, smaller shifts, but now screamed in agony as he grew. It was short though, and he resorted to gritting his teeth as scales covered him, wings furled from his back and claws grew. Limbs stretched, sinew raced over his body, and within minutes, a fully-fledged dragon stood at the entrance of their cave, his neck sweeping inwards to avoid colliding with the wall. He slumped, however, once fully shifted, with a groan. His tail swept inward, his left wing he rose to block the wind comfortably, the other stretched out, forming a tent at his side.

"I would start ye a fire, but I'd roast yer hides." He hissed through his teeth as he rested his head in his claws, looking much like a dog lying down... a rather large dog. "If ye hide beside me, I can... but bring the pelts and such, I have no desire to roast them as well."

Soneya very much appreciated the tail wrapped around her once again, and almost instinctively, she ran her hand over it a couple of times, always making sure she did not stroke against the line of fur. She may never have had a pet, but she knew that cats didn’t like it when they were stroked the wrong way; she figured it would be the same for any other sort of relative of the feline family. “Sorry,” she apologised once she realised what she was doing. “If it’s bugging you, I’ll stop.”

With the progress of the heavy drizzle into a fullblown storm, Soneya’s headache slowly diminished into nothing more than a dull thud, the kind that was not easily to get rid off when there was too much noise or hectic. But she could live with that and even much preferred it to the almost migraine she had been suffering from not all too long ago.

‘Don’t be afraid? Huh?’ It took Soneya a few moments before she realised what Kaevad’s intention was and the scream bursting from him made her jump up in fear despite his warning, shivering all over. Her eyes grew wide as she was trying to decide whether there was a real threat or whether she was just overreacting to the sudden shift into a dragon. The longer the transformation took however, the better Soneya felt. At least there was no actual threat, it was merely Kaevad. Though of course that alone was a sight terrifying enough to make her want to run away screaming.

Yet she stayed where she was, eyes glued to the changes in his limbs, fascinated and horrified at the same time. She could not even begin to imagine the pain such an enormous shift could bring with it but it certainly wasn’t nice to look at either. The end product however was. Dragons were enormous and scary but there was something fascinating about the creature suddenly sharing the cave with Rhyn and Soneya.

As for getting closer, she wasn’t quite so sure. It was tempting, and deep down she knew it really was only Kaevad, but at the same time, she could not keep the memory of Kaevad’s story from burning a fearful image into her mind. What if his dragon half, as they called it, wanted to rise? What if Kaevad couldn’t fight it? If he lost control?

She didn’t want to hurt him. She knew it would if she hesitated any longer but she was scared of him all of a sudden. As fascinating as the dragon appearance was, it quite simply was frightening her. Never in her life had she seen one, only ever heard mention of them, and rarely at that. Nothing good either. “Are… are you… I mean,” stuttering and stammering, Soneya tried to work her way around a phrasing that didn’t sound like a whiney little girl, but she finally gave up, knowing that that was exactly what she was. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

She hadn't minded Soneya stroking her fur. Rhyn didn't get a chance to reassure the girl though. Kaevad moved, and her ears perked up at his words. He moved to the entrance, and Rhyn flattened his ears. The scream made it through to her hearing anyways, and she felt sympathy well up in her for the pain the man suffered. It was a mixture of watching muscles stretch and almost an explosion. She swallowed. No wonder it was painful. He could feel as his joints shifted, and his body was forced to grow enough muscles to fit over his even larger frame.

In the end, his crimson form blocked out much of the light that came from outside, and he blocked the wind and the rain from outside with his body. Rhyn stood, her head tilting as she walked closer to him, coming towards his head. His yellow eyes were much more intense than her own. Golden, and bright, with an inner light to them, where her own were nearly colorless. Her eyes scanned the rest of his form. He was both feline and reptilian, and the way he positioned himself reminded her of the dogs that some shifters turned into.

Curiosity overtook her, and she stood, uncurling herself from Soneya and padding over to where Kaevad's head rested on his claws. She sniffed at him gently, placing paws against his muzzle as she looked over his face and felt his scales, looking at his golden eyes. His scales were hard, like stone, and yet they gleamed like jewels, even in the darkened light. But Rhyn could understand the other woman's fear. He was huge. Large enough to fill a room. Certainly, he was blocking their exit from the cave. She shifted to her half form, walking back and gathering her things and some of the pelts. "Come on, Soneya. At least come near enough that he can restart the fire without hurting either of us. I'm no good at restarting fires. I usually don't bother with them at all. Especially here in the lowlands." She tucked the bundle of things underneath the protection of his wing and went back to gather up the rest of the pelts and Soneya.

Coming beside the girl, she wrapped her tail around her. "You can always come back out here once the fire is lit. It's better for you to have the warmth of the fire, even if Kaevad and I would be fine without."

"Once more Rhyn is correct, Sssoneya." He was hissing like a snake to try and get words out. He turned so she could see both his eyes, and winked, trying to seem playful though likely failing. "I could alwaysss jussst knock you clossser with my tail." He chuckled.

"If you are worried about my... dragon... little one. Do not fear, he hasss been..." He hesitated. "He'ss ssssleeping. And I have fought him many, many yearsss before. I would not allow anyone to harm you." He voice was gentle despite being rough, raspy and hissing. "Essspecially myssself." Keavad shifted his wing out further so Rhyn could enter with no troubles, and even form a small sleeping-place should she like.

"The sssstorm will not ressssst ssssoon. Might asssss well get ssssome ssssleep little one."